I am depressed to be reminded that Jeffrey's ugly friend will be arriving on Friday for a 5-day visit to Scotland.
Why is he coming? We certainly don't want him here, and - given his record - I'm surprised they would let him in.
It seems he will visit his own golf courses at Turnberry and Aberdeen. No doubt he will break the course record at each, and there may be some carefully vetted press sessions, so that he may rant incontinently about irrelevancies. I certainly expect that any incidental exposure he has to the actual Scottish public will leave him in no doubt how much he is loved and respected here.
Our Prime Minister is to travel up here for a meeting of some sort in Aberdeen. Whatever. Why a meeting in Aberdeen? Maybe it will be easier to avoid someone punching the Orange Nose this far from London? Starmer's attendance has something to do with refinements to an earth-shaking non-event masquerading as a trade deal. Why Sir Keir would waste his time having a discussion with a lunatic who changes his mind every day, and who hasn't the merest grasp of the basics of trade, diplomacy or integrity, escapes me.
[Digression: In an idle moment, I was wondering whether anyone knows whether Washington or Lincoln used to spend all their time making stuff up and spouting about how great they were? Maybe they had other things to do - history doesn't seem to mention it, anyway. I think I am sufficiently interested in this idea to see if AI could manage a suitably edited re-write of the Gettysburg Address.]
Mostly I'm avoiding news topics like this at present, and I must say my health appears to be showing some benefit as a result. However, I also have to say that I am very uncomfortable about the forthcoming state visit (no capitalisation) when the Unmentionable One is to visit our King at Windsor Castle. It is probably polite to extend the hand of hospitality to heads of state, but this visit is going to be met with considerable public hostility, which potentially places His Majesty (that's His REAL Majesty) in a difficult position politically. Maybe, to ensure there is no trouble at dinner, a company of Beefeaters could attend, in full dress? It goes without saying, the beefeater joke would be further enhanced by the serving of a vegan dinner.
Also, King Charles might take the opportunity to ask his guest where he was educated, since his spoken English is clearly not anyone's first language.
DJT wouldn't be able to hear Charlie boy because he totally had his ear shot off in a not in any way faked assassination attempt. Someone should tell him that cartilage doesn’t grow back at all, let alone within a week. I’ve no love for the Windsors but inflicting that orange baboon on anyone is clearly beyond the pale.
ReplyDeleteNever mind, they can make small talk about subjects the visitor knows a lot about; we'll skip the history and cultural heritage - maybe gold toilets?
DeleteI confess I'm more worried about our own home grown menace; a populist who confesses his total ignorance of how his own inept financial plan would work and not end up depleting the treasury further. This is doubly worrying given his previous employment. Clearly enriching yourself is the sum total of his financial expertise. And yet, the great unwashed British public lap up his nonsense, embracing the "Mirage"......
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's best not to watch the news......there's only so much shouting the TV can stand....☺
Neil
Fortunately the person you mention is not coming, as far as I know. [Maybe he is?]
DeleteIf Jeffrey's friend is seen to fall spectacularly and humiliatingly on his fat arse, maybe that makes him less of an inspirational role-model? If he falls, we all get hurt by the splash, I think, but I promise i will be drunk for a day or two when it happens.
Here you go Tony - this is to your digression, the Gettybury address updated by AI (Grammarly)
ReplyDeleteEighty-seven years ago, our forefathers forged a new nation on this continent, rooted in liberty and firmly dedicated to the principle that all men are created equal.
Today, we find ourselves in the midst of a monumental civil war, testing whether this nation—or any nation born of such ideals—can endure. We gather here on a hallowed battlefield, where courageous souls offered their lives that this nation might thrive. It is both fitting and right for us to dedicate this portion of that sacred ground as a final resting place for those who sacrificed everything.
Yet, in a deeper sense, we cannot truly dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow this ground. The noble men, both living and dead, who fought here have already sanctified it far beyond our humble efforts to honor it. The world may take little note of or soon forget our words, but it can never forget the valor displayed here.
It is our solemn duty as the living to commit ourselves to the unfinished work that these brave individuals have nobly advanced. We are called to dedicate ourselves to the immense task that lies ahead—to draw inspiration from these honored dead to uphold the cause for which they gave their last full measure of devotion. We resolve that their sacrifice shall not be in vain—that this nation, under God, shall experience a renewed birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not vanish from the earth.Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
It's actually not bad (the AI version). I'll take the Robot over Trump any day
ReplyDeleteIvan - this is very interesting - thanks for this. So the first time through is Grammarly's rewrite? What instructions did the AI engine get for the reworking? To be picky about it, I was looking for a reworking which devoted much of its effort to saying what a great job the President was doing, and lying about all statistics (we can keep the four-score and seven...). I'm interested because I have lived through many Grammarly ads on Youtube, but have not knowingly read any output.
DeleteAt which point I hear your laughter from afar, since most of what I read anywhere now has been processed through something or other! Thanks for this Ivan.
Tony - yes and my apologies there - I didnt realize at first it would simply append the 'improved' version to the original. Though they are handy side by side (or end to end). No particular instructions, Grammarly does just that - suggest grammar edits. For something praising Trump.... well, not even Grok does that now.
DeleteUnderstand - I'll maybe have to apply some Genuine Stupidity to get the Trumped version.
DeleteGenuine stupidity (GS)! Great idea.
DeleteSo here is a GS version of the speech:
A hundred years ago, my forefathers, geniuses all, Made America Great. Believe me.
Now we have a civil war like we’ve never seen before. Unbelievable. And started by those Democrats. I tell you, Stephen Douglas? Is he even American?
This is a good field. Who’s field is it? Make a good golf course. But we are here to turn it into a cemetery, such a waste, for the suckers and losers. Such a waste, like we’ve never seen before.
What was that? That’s a rude question. MAGA.
Donald Trump
Ivan - this is breathtaking - superb. I had real tears in my eyes reading this. You have captured the tone perfectly. One reason why I am a bit emotional is that you give just a glimpse of the fact that no machine has a hope in hell of faking the purity of the human soul, the subtlety of taste, the touch of gentle humour in a situation which is so desolate that it is not even remotely funny.
DeleteThank you, my friend. GS might just be the answer - we just need a list of good questions. I feel strangely uplifted.
I heard it was going to be a wonderful visit, the people of Scotland are already saying it is the greatest visit they have ever waited to see.
ReplyDeleteMillions of cheering highland children dressed as Braveheart lining the streets and lochs waving. It is to be bigly wonderful...ad nauseum.
Matt - thank you, this is excellent. I may even drive up to Aberdeen to join the worshippers - they aren't giving much detail of timings yet. The Scottish police are already complaining that they want very special money to look after the bastard.
DeleteI have an ostrich costume you can borrow,,,
DeleteYou wascal.
DeleteEleventy seven years ago, our forefathers forged a new nation on this continent, rooted in owning a gun and enriching yourself bigly at the expense of others. They want to take all that away from you.
ReplyDeleteToday, we find ourselves in the midst of a mess that Biden created. But fear not, for I (and only I) will make America great again....
We gather here where THEY tried to shoot me; where THEY tried to steal the election (again) - I call it the CONSPIRACY - the great conspiracy - the greatest conspiracy ever I think....confefee....
There has been so much killing!!! Why can't they just do a DEAL? But I will bring peace; peace to the world in 6 days - it took god 7- and Obama wasn't even born here- they want to give me the Nobell prize- I said OK but just do a deal.....
I'm going to make America great again- greater than it has ever been and I'm going to build a wall and make everybody else pay for everything- and America- Greater America will stretch all the way to Green Land- that's a lovely name isn't it? Green Land- money is green and so is America- well not those Communists in California but it burnt down.....all burnt....they wouldn't listen....
And trade! We make all the best things, like Coke and Pepsi and weapons and Santa Claus- they want to ban him you know! Yes, ban him, ban him up in Green Land with his elves.....but we won't let them. Losers....all losers.
So we won't let them. We'll send them back to where they came from and Make Amerca Gay again! YMCA! YMCA......
(Fade out to very bad dancing....)
At this point the AI self-destructed.....☺
This evening's comments have hit a real purple patch - again, this is great stuff. This should be nominated for a Nobel Prize for Joining Words Together into Sentences. This takes me back to the heady days of The Weave - back when I discovered it was more than just the way they fastened his hair together at the back.
DeleteMy thanks to you. I fear the FBI will already have us all on file; be careful who you answer the door to. Do we get a choice of death camp, or does that just depend on Stephen Miller's quotas? Anyone up for spraying more graffiti on the clubhouse during the actual reopening?