Update to my C&C-based ECW Rules

This post is overdue - I was working on some changes back in April, but hadn't got the links formalised for Google Drive.

The latest version is 3.01 - as always, there is some typo-fixing, and I've simplified some rules because the (imagined) added cleverness proved to be outweighed by the extra complexity (constant theme).

One of the big changes is that I've now included a more-or-less coherent note on the use of my optional, dice-based Ramekin activation system with the ECW rules. This does a number of things, the chief of which is removal of the Command Cards from the game. Ver 3.01 of the rules also uses a coloured font to identify the parts of the rules which are changed in the absence of the Cards. I have been surprised to learn that a number of people actually use these rules now, and it is only right and proper that I should try to ensure that the "official" downloads are up to date.

The downloadable documents should now allow use of Ver 3.01 with the Command and Chaunce Cards or, as an alternative, the Ramekin system. In passing, Ramekin has proved (fortuitously!) to be absolutely invaluable for playing C&C Napoleonic games remotely, via Zoom, which is an accidental bonus I had not planned for!

As ever, please bear in mind that these rules are primarily for my own use, they are supported and maintained on an occasional, best-endeavours basis, and I don't really wish to hear how awful they are(!) - I'm delighted to discuss them if anyone has any suggestions which are consistent with what I have tried to achieve with them. Also - of course - if the links don't work properly, please do let me know! Google Docs and its offspring have always been pretty much intuitive in use, but I use them so infrequently that I have a tendency to forget best practice!

If you are interested, or want to update the versions you have, you will find the link in the top right corner of this screen.

French Refurb Project - More Homebrewed Flags

This morning I've been fiddling away with good old Paintshop Pro, making up flags for the new units which my Refurb Project will deliver. I'm quite excited for a number of reasons, but one in particular is that I had a Good Idea - it had to happen eventually.

I've had a problem for a few years in that the old-fashioned coated-on-one-side-only high quality print paper which I used for flags went out of production. When I asked about it, I just got blank looks - there had never been any such thing (a bit like the 20mm Hinchliffe Napoleonic artillery pieces, in fact). So I've been struggling a little since then with available papers. The advantage of the single-sided stuff (provided you put it the right way round in the printer, of course), is that you can get it thinner than the two-sided paper, and it is more flexible. This means it will produce nice curvy flags without creasing - when the PVA dries you have a splendid standard, fluttering in the breeze. [How lovely]

The Good Idea was that I remembered that I have a large envelope full of spare flags which I have printed in the past on this extinct paper, and these are mostly printed 2 flags to a sheet of A4, with the flags in diagonally opposite corners. I was shaving when it occurred to me that each of these sheets has a large unprinted space in the middle, so that all I have to do is overprint some of these old sheets with new flags in the centre of the page, and it will be just like 2011 once again.

You will understand my excitement.

So this morning's flags are ready to be printed and - just in case they are of any use to anyone - here they are. These are 1804 pattern flags, as you see, for units in the 3rd and 6th Divisions of the French Armee de Portugal in 1812, which comprise the planned extension to my army. For 1/72 (approx) I like my French infantry flags to be about 15 to 16mm high.

If you wish to use them, please do so. A couple of notes:


* Click on the image and save the big version.

* Experiment with the print scaling to suit your figures - I wouldn't recommend these for anything bigger than 1/72

* The individual flags in the image are only roughly lined up by eye, so I recommend you cut them out singly - don't try to cut a row at one go!

* If you pass them on, or become famous using them, that's no problem, but please mention where you got them. [Usual deal]




***** Late Edit *****

I hadn't realised that Blogger would restrict the file size for the flag sheet - if you want the bigger version, it's available at Google Drive via this link. Any problems with access or download, please leave a comment here or email.

*******************


  

Hielan' Coos - and the Ramekin

Moo!

First off, I must wish everyone a happy and comfortable Christmas - all the very best to you and yours. Here's a suitably frozen picture of some Scottish cattle. Tourist stuff, but cute.

I also thought I'd take the opportunity to put out the current draft of my Ramekin add-on for Commands & Colors: Napoleonics. In truth, "add-on" is not ideal phrasing, since the Ramekin game is a simplification. As I attempt to explain in the note, this is not intended to replace C&CN, it is merely a variation to cope with games where the left/centre/right section cards are not appropriate, or where the battle requires a lot of preliminary movement to develop the armies, or where the game is so large that some streamlining of the activation system helps to push it along. What I have is still a working draft, so it will certainly change further, but a number of people have asked me about it.

Replacement of the Command Cards with a dice-based activation system feels a bit like a sell-out, and I had all sorts of ideas for making the dice system very scientific, possibly utilising the army structure - the Tempo Points system from Polemos' General de Division was a likely candidate (I've always liked that) - but in the end I decided simple is good, at least for starting with, so the system at present may be described as crude-but-fast. This may get improved a bit as I build some more experience, but it gets me up and running.

The scaling-back of the effect of ranged musketry is an experiment. I am keen not to destroy the balance of the game, but, as published in C&CN, musket fire at 2-hex range is about as effective as melee combat, which has always bothered me rather. Let's see how we get on with this. I've had a great many games where attacks get shot to pieces before the attackers can even get to close range - that doesn't seem to correspond completely with history. Anyway, let's see how I get on with the tweak. If I can get the changed version of Google Drive to work, you should find the note here.

If you'd like to discuss the Ramekin, or make suggestions, or share you own experiences with it, please get in touch, but if you think it sucks then please keep it to yourself! Also, before anyone asks, I have no intention of publishing or maintaining a set of scenarios for Ramekin!

Have an excellent holiday, everyone.

Homebrewed Flags - Old Guard Grenadiers 1804-11

Today's minor achievements have been (1) basing up two battalions of the Bavarian 5th Line Infantry and (2) hashing up some half-decent flags for my new Old Guard units (does that make sense?). A couple of hours playing around with Paintshop Pro and here are the flags. If they are of any use to you, please feel free to copy them. If you pass them on, I would appreciate a brief mention - nothing heavy, of course.

Just click on the image to get the full-size version, and save that. I'm sorry the files are so small, my starting images were lower-res than I expected - these flags should work up to just about 28mm scale, certainly no bigger than that. At 1/72 scale, since the real flags were 80cm square, the printed flags should be 11mm across - I like my flags a bit oversized, so I do them at 16mm. Whatever - you work out the scale reduction!

These flags are correct for the Grenadiers a Pied for 1804-1811. Between 1806 and 1808 (I think) there was a second regiment - during this period the 2nd Battalion colour would have been carried by the 1st Bn of the 2nd Regt, and after 1808 they went back to a single regiment, so the 2nd Bn would have got their flag back. In 1811 there was a further re-organisation to three Grenadier regiments, and the replacement flags from this date are recognisable because they have the number of the regiment in the corners instead of the grenade symbol. In 1812, of course, the flags were completely redesigned.

With luck and a steady hand, tomorrow I should have photos of the Guard battalions and the Bavarians all based and finished. No pressure...

Home-Brewed Flags: French Cuirassiers

In case they are any use to anyone, here are the 1804-pattern flags I've drawn up for my cuirassiers. The real flags were 60cm square, which is about 9mm in 1/72 scale. If I print this image at 58% full size I get 1cm flags, which is near enough for jazz. Click on the image below to get the full size, and save it.

Studying History in the Car

Recently I've been thoroughly absorbed by some freebie history podcasts I downloaded from the Internet. Not only do they make car journeys pass more quickly, but sometimes I'm fretting to get back on my way, to find out what happened next!

I'm really only a dabbler in this area, but am very impressed by what is available and by the potential of the medium.

Some years ago I became very enthusiastic about The Napoleon Podcast, a series produced by an Australian, Cameron Reilly, which generated a lengthy series of shows featuring Reilly as host and continuity man (and frequent provocateur), and J David Markham - American author of numerous works on Napoleon, of which Napoleon for Dummies must be one of his biggest sellers. The series was ambitious, in an amiably homespun sort of way, and when the personalities of the two presenters (and their unrelenting devotion to the Emperor) began to grate on the nerves it was rescued by a number of excellent guest speakers. That series is still worth a listen, I think - especially the sections on the Russian army and its campaigns.

Apart from the occasional episode of BBC Radio's In Our Time show, I haven't been paying a lot of attention subsequently; I've checked out a number of audiobooks, but these things are very much dependant on how well they are read, which - in turn - is very much a matter of personal taste. I was delighted that someone had taken on the task of recording Oman's Peninsular War epic series on mp3, for example, but my excitement ended abruptly when I heard the results. I was also keen to get the very good audiobook version of CV Wedgwood's book on the Thirty Years War, but it seems this is tricky if you don't want an Audible account. At the time, I thought that Audible seemed like an updated version of the old monthly book-clubs scam, but I am slowly starting to consider this more seriously. I may be a potential subscriber. [Having typed this here, I suspect I will now see adverts for little else on my email page, my eBay screens, Facebook, in my shaving mirror, etc...]

The podcasts which have been keeping me entertained recently are both American:

Dan Carlin

World War 1 - excellently done, but very heavy going

(1) Dan Carlin's Blueprint for Armageddon series - which comprises six enormously long shows, available from Carlin's Hardcore History website. Carlin, I think, is a bit like Marmite - I have really become quite a big fan, but a lot of people do not appreciate his style, nor his political views. The series in question is available free from his site, and I downloaded these shows as a taster, before exploring some of the items which require a (small) investment. Carlin's viewpoint in this particular miniseries is to examine WW1 as it affected the participants. He does it well, and impartially, though the whole thing is presented with attention to the meat-grinder aspects of the experience which gets close to obsession at times. No matter - the point is well made, if maybe a few times too many. Carlin appears to have a view with which I can empathise - namely, that there are no absolute winners in war; as a rule, wars are started for political or economic reasons by national leaders or rulers, but the cost in suffering and ruin is borne by the common people, mobilised and conscripted in support of some national patriotic jamboree. Anyway, it's sobering stuff, but I learned a great deal, and he is a stunning presenter.

Mike Duncan

Well worth a browse

(2) Mike Duncan's Revolutions Podcast, which is all available free of charge, though you are sort of expected to make a donation if you appreciate the shows. This is a weekly series - I downloaded the ECW set, and thought they were very good. They give an excellent overall view of a complex subject, and they do it well, though they focus on the political rather than the military detail. I was a little disappointed that Duncan chose to spend very little time on the many sieges which were central to the wars, though he probably decided they were difficult things to present in an interesting way. The shows are well written, and well presented, though for my taste the insistence on introducing a matey joviality at times does not work well. Maybe this is compulsory for the Informal Internet, but, no matter how charismatic the presenter, inclusion of phrases like "awesome" and "kicking the crap out of the King's army" in a narration, even of popular history, adds little for me. Overall, though, I liked the slick way the shows were written and edited. I'm going to have a look at the wealth of other material on offer on the site. Mr Duncan is to be complimented on his efforts.

For zero cost, these podcasts offer a lot of entertainment and, in the series I have been following, a great deal of insight. I have enjoyed my motor trips much more of late, no doubt. Recommended - and I shall look further to see what else is out there.

1809 Spaniards - Light Infantry Completed!

This morning I have two new light infantry units ready for action, so I am pleased to note that the original planned four such units are now finished. Another little milestone (as opposed to a millstone, which is a different thing altogether).

With skirmishers deployed

In close order - skirmishers tucked away at the back

These are the Voluntarios de Gerona (yellow facings) and the Cazadores de Barbastro (red). The castings are Falcata, apart from the marching officer and the drummer in Barbastro, which are NapoleoN. The Falcata figures paint up nicely, but the moulds were suffering badly when these chaps were produced, and it took a lot of filing and re-carving to get them into shape.

According to my (expanded) target OOB for the 1809 Spaniards, the only things I still have to paint are 2 battalions of grenadiers, 3 units of line cavalry, 1 of dragoons, 1 foot battery, a few more generals and ADCs and a small group of zapadores (individually based). Apart from elegances like limbers and some garrison artillery that's the lot, so I hope I can finish them this year.

Cazadores de Barbastro

Voluntarios de Gerona

In case they are useful, here are the flags for these units, which I have produced with Paintshop Pro - if you print them at about 20mm high (cut off the green bits!) that's near enough 1/72 scale - I would not recommend them for anything bigger than that. Feel free to use them, but if you share them or publish any pictures, I'd appreciate a mention!

A quick word on Spanish light infantry flags - these units each consisted of a single battalion, which carried the Coronela national flag; if they still had a Sencilla (battalion flag) left over from an earlier regimental organisation, it would be stored away in a church or a depot somewhere. There is a very tattered sencilla for the Barbastro unit still in existence, but by 1809 it was no longer carried on campaign.

ECW - Rules Update

Further to previous - as from today, Version 2.68 of my CC_ECW rules is downloadable via this link. The link on the right hand top corner of the current screen should now also point to this latest version, and I believe all the documentation is consistent.

Revisions? Not so much, in the end - have gone back to Foot being able to move and still fire (a bit), have banned Stand of Pikes from being attempted in woods - in fact no pikes can fight in woods any more. Also another load of typos and dodgy wording smartened up.

If you can't get the links to work, I've probably screwed up the sharing rights - please shout. If you don't like the rules, that's perfectly OK - have a nice day.

My humble thanks to The Jolly Broom Man for his input and all his help.

Commands & Colors: Napoleonics - Command Cards - Summary Sheet

Further to yesterday's typing extravaganza, I had a good look at the revised (Expansion #5) Command cards, and decided that a full listing of these would also be useful for reference. Note that this is a listing of the revised cards - the ones with the green backs, not the blue ones that come with the original base game (which are listed in the rules booklet).

The cards are organised in three rough groupings - first are the section cards, which specifically relate to units located in one or more sections of the field. Next are the new Take Command cards, which are a bit like section cards, but are applied to Leaders and groups of units adjacent to them. Last are the survivors of what used to be referred to as "tactical" cards - because it is too confusing to have these in the same world as the new Tactician cards, I shall just classify these as Other - if you like, they are Command cards which are not section cards. As with yesterday's list, the numbers in brackets after each card detail are the number of instances of this card in the deck.

Anyway - here they all are - any significant typos, please shout and I'll get it sorted.

Update to my C&C-based ECW Rules - Ver 2.67

Following extensive discussions about 30YW rules last year with Peter Brekelmans, and some very useful recent exchanges with The Jolly Broom Man, I've produced another update to the rules booklet for my CC_ECW game, which is now up to Version 2.67 and may be accessed/downloaded via the link on the right hand side of this screen.

The main change is a more comprehensive treatment of "Volatile" and "Rash" Galloper cavalry - which includes the possibility of their leaving the table out of control if they get overexcited - and some tidying up of the rule whereby units being attacked in melee by more than one opponent simultaneously will suffer a deduction from the number of Combat Dice to allow for distraction and diversion of effort.

I've also removed Firelocks as a distinct troop class, since there wasn't really any need. Oh - and units Battling Back in melee now get a minimum of 1 die to do it with!

I had considered making the Volatile/Rash Horse thing an optional rule, but I don't care for optional rules - it is in any case possible to declare that a particular scenario does not involve any such units of horse, and you have exercised just such an option. After much pondering, and after watching my Pegasus DVD of Edgehill for the umpteenth time, I am pretty much convinced that lack of control of Royalist cavalry in the First Civil War was a regular contributor to the day's outcome!

The downloadable QRS sheet is now in need of an update to bring everything back into line - I'll get to it. If you have problems accessing the revised rules booklet (because I have set sharing rights incorrectly, which is my usual Google Docs cock-up when I update these rules), or if I have made some horrible error, please let me know, so I can fix things.

****** Late Edit ******

...and ...and ...light guns now exist only as an attachment to a unit of foot, and medium and heavy guns can move only until they fire or are attacked - in either case the draught crews will leave them to get on with it at that point.

****** Late Late Edit ******

...and ...QRS now updated to match Ver 2.67 - as at 29th March.

Homebrewed Flags - more 1809 Spanish

I'm doing some catching-up here, since I have a number of units who are ready for action apart from the flags. Here's another batch; strictly speaking, I've posted the La Corona flags before, but I wasn't happy with the proportions, so I've re-done them. My Cantabria regiment has only one battalion, so I've only done the coronela.

I have more cavalry and light infantry flags to get ready, so I'll get to those when the soldiers are painted. If these are any use to you, please feel free to download and use them as you wish. Usual instructions - click on the image above, right-click on the enlarged version, and download. If you print the entire image 105mm high, the individual flags will be 20mm high, which is fine for 1/72, or you can scale them up or down in proportion - these are not good enough for anything larger than 30mm, by the way! The green surround is not part of each flag - it's just there to enable you to cut a white flag out of white paper!

Use the best quality 80gsm paper you can get hold of. If you can get single-coated paper it's easier to fold and shape. More soon.

ECW Rules - documentation update for new version 2.65

Having received a comment from Paul about the rules, and a couple of email enquiries, I've updated the documentation on Google Docs. If you follow the link at top right for "My Own CCN-based ECW Rules", you'll get to the placeholder post which should now link to the new version. The changes are to the Rules Booklet and the QRS, and they bring it up to Ver.2.65, dated yesterday.

The changes reflect some previously-undocumented tweaks which I have been using, plus some typo-fixes, plus a few changes which are a result of my discussions with Peter Brekelmans about his 30YW variant.

Specific mods in the game include some amendments to Battling Back in Melee Combat, corrections to the Terrain Effects, and Light Artillery (by which I mean frame-guns and similar tactical, mobile pieces) now appears on the field only as attachments to units of Foot - light guns cannot be deployed as standalone units. Also, losses of artillery units no longer count for Victory Banners.

As ever, I think I've tested the links - if they don't work, or you are still getting the old versions, please let me know - many thanks.

I hope that some semi-formal documentation should also appear soon for the ECW siege game which I tested a few months ago - I'm a bit busy elsewhere at present, but it's in the pipeline!

1809 Spaniards - Flags for the Milicias Provinciales

More downloadables from Max Foy's Cheapo Productions Homebrewed Flags department. If these are useful, please feel free to use them - please just mention me if you pass them further. If you click on this image, to get the big version, save that, and print it on your premier-quality paper with the image 50mm high - that will give you flags which are correct for 1/72 or 20mm scale. As I always mention, the green surrounds are not part of the flags, and the resolution will not be good enough to print them any larger than 28mm scale.

Provincial Militia, 1809 - Top, L to R: Granada, Jaen
Bottom, L to R: Ciudad Real, Cordoba

Here, then, are the regulation coronelas for the provinciales of Granada, Jaen, Ciudad Real and Cordoba, all ready to have a bad day at the Battle of Ucles. I hope to have the tabletop units finished,  with their flags, in a day or two, so a photo should appear in the fullness of time.

I confess that I wimped out on the Cordoba flag - I was so impressed by Bueno's prints of blue militia flags for units from the Asturias that yesterday I produced a striking red, non-regulation flag for Cordoba bearing some funky text and the province's coat of arms. It looked fantastic, but after a night worrying about it I replaced it with the normal, boring coronela this morning. Of course I haven't the faintest idea what the unit actually carried into battle, but the version reproduced here is pretty much what they were supposed to carry!

Home brewed Flags - Spanish backlog (4)

Now some light cavalry - this will be enough for the moment, I think. Certainly that's all I need to get the painted units finished off. There will certainly be more later on.

If you wish to make use of these cavalry flags, click on the image, save the larger version, and if you print at 13mm high (including the fringes) that's about 1/72 scale.

Cazadores de Olivencia (L) & Husares de Maria Luisa (R)

Husares Espanoles (L) & Cazadores "Voluntarios de Espana" (R)

Home brewed flags - Spanish backlog (3)

Yet more of the same - I was beginning to think this is all getting a bit boring for anyone who doesn't actually care about my Spanish army, but then it occurred to me that this is probably as good a free download of Spanish Napoleonic flags as you're likely to find (with all due humility), so I've decided to carry on for a bit. Somewhere, someone may find them useful one day...

I only have the first battalion of the Guardias Wallones in my army, and the flag appears here, but I am slightly crestfallen to read that the flag for the 2nd battalion was rather more interesting, having a blue ground. Not to worry. The Cataluña regiment were light infantry, by the way.

Instructions are the same as before - save large version, and print at 23mm high for 1/72 - trim off the green border.

Regto de la Reina - coronela

Regto do la Reina - sencilla

1st Bn Guardias Walones

1.Voluntarios de Cataluna

That's enough infantry flags to give me something to work with for now. Next up are some cavalry flags - they are fun, but there's hardly any source images, so this is real head-crushing stuff. Watch this space...

Home brewed Flags - Spanish backlog (2)

And here's some more. Irlanda and Murcia only have one battalion present with my army (OOB loosely based on Ucles), which saves me doing a couple of sencillas! The technique here is (probably obviously) copying and pasting and dropping bits in - the skills are those of desktop publishing rather than graphic art - most of the Spanish flags are pretty much the same.

Since I was asked, the flagpoles were covered in crimson velvet, the cravats were red and the spearhead and the fringes on the cravats were in the regimental button colour.

Regto de Africa - coronela

Regto de Africa - sencilla

Regto de Irlanda - coronela

Regto de Murcia - coronela

As before, the big version of these images should be saved and printed to be 23mm high for 1/72 scale. The green border is not part of the flag, and should be cut away.

Home-brewed Flags - Spanish backlog

My 1809 Spanish army has now progressed far enough for the lack of flags to have become an embarrassing bottleneck, so I am obliged to crack on a bit with them. These have been produced, as ever, using my ancient version of PaintShop Pro, and they are intended for my own use, but (as ever) if anyone wants to use them, please feel free - they are non-copyright. The resolution is not brilliant, so they are not recommended for 54mm - if you wish to print them out, click on the image below, save the larger version and print each one at 23mm high for 1/72 scale (I'll leave you to do the arithmetic for other scales!).

The green border is not part of the flag - it is simply to enable me to cut a white flag out of a white sheet of paper. The 1st battalion of the regiment would carry the coronela - the colonel's colour - and the 2nd battalion the sencilla (or ordenanza).

There will be more of these (there had better be!) - what I might describe as an intermittent rush. The queue includes long-overdue flags for the otherwise complete regiments of Africa, Reina, Irlanda, Guardias Walonas, Murcia and a bunch of others - and then there's the cavalry...

Regto de Burgos - coronela

Regto de Burgos - sencilla

Regto de La Corona - coronela

Regto de La Corona - sencilla

ECW - Updated C&C-based Rules Available Again

Since I have now managed to arrange for a proper PDF Editor on my Mac, I have been able to update my Commands & Colors-based ECW rules, which for file-storage purposes go by the snappy name of CC_ECW, and thus I have re-inserted the section in the top right-hand corner of this window where, if you are interested, you can (or should be able to) access the latest versions from Google Docs, or whatever it is called these days.

I am now up to Version 2_64 of the test rules, which implies a lot more activity than has been the case – my numbering system is too pathetic to explain. Death by Version Control - the legacy of a life in IT. I have dropped the summary of changes (from C&CN) sheet, since it was just one more thing to maintain, and I have revised QRS sheets and a nice new Stand of Pikes tracker, similar to the Squares tracker in C&CN.

Changes in the rules since the last available version are based on my own playtesting and feedback from friends. The significant ones are:

Foot - foot may now move a bit quicker - they may stand still (and carry out either melee or ranged combat), move 1 hex (and carry out melee combat) or move 2 hexes (and then may not combat at all). They may not make a double move if it starts, or at any point brings them within, 2 hexes of the enemy. This is subject to normal terrain rules, and seems to work well.

Horse - this has been a bit trickier - the advantages for Gallopers over Trotters (and Trotters includes Cuirassiers) were too generous - with lucky dice, Galloper cavalry could become unstoppable. Revised version of the rules are:

Gallopers fighting Trotters will get first blow in a melee, regardless of who is the attacker, and may follow up and carry out cavalry breakthrough in a successful fight even if they are not the attacker (i.e. if it is not their player's turn). Trotters attacking will still get to carry out follow-up and breakthrough if they win and a hex is vacated. Other changes here - bonus die for attacking Gallopers is scrapped (they have enough advantages already), and the number of breakthroughs and bonus melees is limited to 1 (the open-ended series of bonus melees can give a crazy game, so I've dropped that).

Rash Gallopers - and these are strictly limited to 1 or 2 units in a game - are like other Gallopers, but they also get a bonus die in melee against non-Galloper horse, and they MUST follow up and carry out breakthrough and bonus melee if they are able to (which simulates their getting out of control). Again, only 1 such bonus melee. Veteran Rash Gallopers fighting Raw Trotters is not a pretty sight…

One further change – because the Chance Cards occurred so infrequently as to have little effect, I’ve doubled the number of Hazzard a Chaunce cards in the Command pack from 2 to 4, so, if you download them, print p8 of the Command Cards twice to give you the extra cards.

Any problems with the links, and/or anything crazy in the documentation, please let me know.

ECW - in which I almost discuss audiobooks

I like to listen to stuff when I’m driving – music (a lot), radio (a good bit, though I have to switch off current affairs phone-ins because they bring on road rage) and increasingly I have a liking for audio books, which is a fairly new area for me.

My new car will play mp3 files, from CDs or flash drive cards of any size you like. This is such a boon and such a novelty that I’m still experimenting with the possibilities. A few months ago I started downloading promising looking audiobook titles from LibriVox and elsewhere – sadly, I have found this to be mostly very disappointing.

The idea that you can get a free download of someone reading a worthwhile book is exciting – the reality is that the actual reading is done by someone who considers that he has a good speaking voice, often without very much apparent justification. It’s easy to find fault – if I’m getting this much entertainment for nothing, you would think, I should just shut up and make the best of it.

Doesn’t work for me. As a native of Liverpool, who has lived most of his life in Scotland, I am probably not well placed to criticize anyone else’s accent, but I am very familiar with the problems of making myself understood by a (potentially hostile) stranger. A number of these books are read by someone whose accent I find distracting, and it is surprisingly common to find mispronounced words; there was one chap whose speech is punctuated by a strange clicking sound, which I believe may be his dentures, and it is very common indeed for the reader to demonstrate that he has little or no understanding of what he is saying – which actually makes it hard to follow. The funniest audiobook I have is a brave effort by a husband and wife team who have done a huge job reading one of the better-known 19^th Century works on military strategy; quite a lot of this book makes reference to French and German place names and people. The couple, between them, do not have the beginnings of a clue on pronunciation, but compensate enthusiastically by reading a phonetic English version in a strangulated, “foreign” voice – shades of Moriarty from the Goon Show – there is a short but distinct pause as they take a run-up at each fresh challenge.

Reading aloud a text – especially someone else’s text – so that it is easy to listen to and understand is a tricky business, and certainly something that I would not attempt – at least not where anyone could hear me. For a start, a script which is written specifically to be read out should be written with that in mind – sentences should be reasonably short and clearly structured, and great swathes of attached clauses, parentheses and afterthoughts should be avoided. “Fine writing” of the type promoted at your local night school Creative Writing classes – never use one adjective if you can use two – is tricky to read aloud. Spoken presentation of a formal, written piece of prose requires a very great (and rare) skill – that is why Laurence Olivier and John Gielgud and a few others did such a lot of it. They were good.

Before I went to visit Chester I downloaded an excellent podcast about the Siege of Chester, presented by Melvyn Bragg in his BBC radio series on “Voices of the Powerless” (you can buy it here if you are interested).

I put it on a CD, for my in-car homework prior to the Chester trip, and took the opportunity to fill up the rest of the disc with the mp3 version of an audio CD about the ECW I bought about a year ago. I hadn’t listened to this before – never got around to it – but it’s surprising what you can get through on a solo car journey.

Hmmm. I’m not going to spend a lot of time analysing it, but I did buy the thing so I guess I’m entitled to a view. It is, again, an enthusiastic, rather amateurish production – well recorded, with some nice sound effects and some pleasing period music from Packington’s Pound and others, but heavy going. The producer was also the writer and the narrator. He pulled out all the stops on the serious writing effort, but left himself with an almost impossible reading job as a result. The format is a series of earnest dialogues – mostly with Oliver Cromwell – written in a carefully hand-polished style and delivered in a clear Luton accent – I found that words like “troof” and even “nuffink” did little for my listening experience. Cromwell is asked a load of serious questions, and replies appropriately. It is not a lot of fun, though the sleeve notes and credits suggest that a fair amount of fun was had by those recording it. Sir Laurence would have made a better job of it.

You what, luv?

In a roundabout way, this leads me back to what might have been a central theme for this post, if I had thought of it earlier – what did spoken English sound like during the Civil War? If we had met Lord Goring and his mates, could we chat with them? What about William Brereton? Or Lettuce Gamul? Would the Voices of the aforementioned Powerless have meant anything to us? I haven’t been reading ECW material for long, and when I first started I had major problems with the spelling and wording of 17^th Century texts. Somehow, I seem to have gone some way toward getting the hang of this, since I now find the contemporary quotes and correspondence very entertaining, and also intriguing. I realize that people expressed themselves in a different manner in those days, and the rules of grammar were not what we might expect today. In the absence of standardised spelling, what we see must be each writer’s attempt to record what he heard people say – names of places and people show a surprising variety of spellings, and there must be a lot of clues in there about how people spoke – what did English sound like in those days, officially and locally?

All I know about the voices of the day is that Richard Harris stares at the horizon and shouts throughout the movie Cromwell – there must be more to it than that. I did manage to dig up a lengthy, learned text on the subject of the changes in English dialects since Tudor times, but that isn’t a lot of fun either. Unless everyone promises to behave nicely, I may record myself reading it aloud – preferably when I’m drunk – and release it on LibriVox. It will be a surefire cure for insomnia.