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If you cannot read this post - and by that I mean cannot read it at all - then please send me a comment, describing what you can see, and we'll attempt to get things fixed straight away. I can only assure you that customer comfort and satisfaction are always absolute priorities in our Job Mission statement. If you wish to read terms and conditions of use, or see details of the standard Prometheus in Aspic service level agreement, then we suggest that you go and pour a stiff drink and write them yourself.
"If you cannot read this post - and by that I mean cannot read it at all - then please send me a comment, describing what you can see, and we'll attempt to get things fixed straight away."
ReplyDelete-- Classic tech support response! You must be a seasoned veteran within the IT industry.
Thank you very much for your communication to Prometheus in Aspic. We promise that there is a chance we might think about responding to it within 2 working days. We value our customers' feedback very highly, so would be very grateful if you would take a moment to rate this reply.
Delete1 - Really helpful
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:-)
"If your internet service is interrupted, please initiate a web session with one of our online support specialists, who will be happy to assist you. Or, sod off."
ReplyDeleteYes, I recognise that. At my last employer, towards the end of my time there, they brought in a very expensive team of efficiency consultants, on whose recommendation this Support message was eventually shortened simply to "sod off". In fact, it was "sdo off", as I recall, since we also got rid of the Quality Team (and not before tiemm).
DeleteLike the random image... :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat random image? Are you sure your version of Java is up to date?
DeleteI remember once, back in the days before mobile phones or anything, our landline stopped working altogether. So I trundled down to the nearest telephone kiosk (remember when you could still use those?) and called BT or whatever it called itself then. I explained the problem to the operator, including the fact it didn't work AT ALL, and she then asked 'And are you reporting the phone you are using now?'
ReplyDeleteExcellent - it is reassuring to remember that, in those days too, nationalised industries were dedicated to customer care, and trained their staff so well.
DeletePerhaps it was caused by all those birds roosting on your telephone line?
ReplyDeleteGood theory, but a few years ago BT changed things so that our cable now is underground. Now I come to think of it, all I know for sure is that the cable arrives at our house from underground - whether it is connected to anything down there is uncertain. Also, even if it is, there are cows and horses who could step on it, not to mention ploughs.
DeleteOh no - don't mention the ploughs! I'll have to keep an eye on the guys when they are preparing the fields - that's a lot of fields. Better get out my divining rods and see which fields I need to worry about.
Stress, stress.