A discursive look at Napoleonic & ECW wargaming, plus a load of old Hooptedoodle on this & that

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Hooptedoodle #189a - Well, actually...

Thanks very much for suggestions - I can see it could be any or all of these things. In fact it is an apple-case - yes, that's right - to carry your apple in, so well done Mr Phyllion [I am horrified to hear that you can also get a banana case - surely bananas come ready-wrapped, and what's wrong with old-fashioned sandwich boxes anyway? Oh no - I see it now - big hairy Mike with the tattoos takes his morning break at work, and he's having an apple - he has brought it in his toolbox, along with his hacksaws and so on, but it is completely safe because it is in a lovely pink plastic case - he will be the envy of all his chums].

What it is really, of course, is an opportunity to send us something bearing the logo of Pink Lady apples. For reasons which elude me, discussion of apples always gets into ridiculous patriotic arguments. I have eaten and enjoyed French Golden Delicious apples for years, despite intermittent abuse from friends and acquaintances who insist that the mere existence on our supermarket shelves of the Golden Delicious is another dreadful attack from the Eurocrats, and that I should be dutifully eating Cox's Orange Pippins like a true Englishman. Pink Lady, I believe, are Australian. I have tried them - they were OK. I am unmoved.

The whole subject of promotional tat offered in the pretence that it is in some way useful or desirable also reminds me of the very strange phenomenon of free gifts offered with women's magazines. I regularly see magazines with an exciting "free gift" selotaped to the front cover. Typically, this gift will be a plastic make-up pouch bearing someone's brand name, and the quality and general usefulness of the pouch itself are such that anyone daring to give his wife or girlfriend such an object as a present would be a very foolish man indeed. And yet someone's marketing department has accurately identified that these items will be stored away somewhere, complete with advertising message, and maybe even treasured.

My view is that these free gifts are usually of less than no value - the quality is crap, and the implication is that they are giving it to you because they know you are a moron.

Anyway - I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but it is an apple case. There you are - our collective education progresses.


Late Edit: here are some Redlove Era apples (as mentioned in the comments) we prepared earlier - all stewed and ready to go in a crumble (oatmeal in the crumble topping) - that's the natural colour of the flesh:


  1. At last, no more bruised apples in the haversack! Of course, a lot more time buying ones of the precise dimensions of the case, but you can't have everything. Why does it need the dangly thing? From whence might one, as it were, dangle an apple?
    I had no idea that Pink Ladies were Australian, until now. A little Google-fu reveals they originate in Western Australia.
    I love them, crispy and sweet, my sole choice for an eating apple. The other great Aussie apple, the Granny Smith, is ideal for cooking and juicing.
    You can keep your tired, old world apples ... unless you want to make a proper cider, of course.

    1. I hadn't realised Granny Smiths were Australian either, but they most certainly are. Respect.

      The dangly thing - I'm not sure, but perhaps kiddies' knapsacks have a thing in the corner for hanging your apple-case from - just next to the iPhone holder. No? - oh well.

      We grow some interesting apples here in our garden - just a dwarf tree, really, but a variety called Redlove Era, which is pest and blight resistant, has dark crimson blossom and dark red apples with vivid red flesh - I guess you can eat them straight off the tree, but we stew em - they make a very colourful crumble - yummy. The variety is from Switzerland - a smallish country not far from Europe, where they specialise in chocolate, cuckoo clocks, railways (in places where most countries wouldn't even have places) and Nazi-owned works of art - all right, cancel the last bit - I got into an old version of Wikipedia.

      Because they are fun, I'll add a picture of the red apples to the blog post.

  2. Mind boggled. Do they use similar devices on the trees to ensure the apples grow in the precise shape to fit or is that a GMO thing?
    Apparently there used to be several hundred (I forget the exact number) of registered varieties of apples in Nova Scotia but these days it has shrunk to a dozen or so, not including wimpy Aussie newbies that presumably require extended sunshine and warmth. Most of our apples tend to be round though so wouldn't fit the carrier. I suppose the dangly cord would allow kids to show that their parents can afford to have their fruit shipped across the globe rather than buying from the ever decreasing number of local growers.

    1. Apples are like just about every fruit, vegetable, domestic animal and musical genre in that they have become more standardised, less diverse, and much more bland as the super markets tell farmers what to grow and "customers" what to buy. Thankfully we have a decent market here, and can still find honesty box stalls at farm gates.
      The Aussie cultivars are anything but soft, and would probably beat the stuffing out of your over-coddled Blue Noser apples in a street fight. They all grow in places like Tasmania that people largely avoid because they are cold, wet and all together a lot like England.
      As for the dangly cord thing, it won't last. Health and Safety will have it banned lest kiddies use the device as a substitute for the all-but-lethal conker.

  3. Yessss! What can I say, I'm a plastic tat identification pro. Was there a prize? Not the tat itself, please!

    Also, proof:


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