A discursive look at Napoleonic & ECW wargaming, plus a load of old Hooptedoodle on this & that


Wednesday, 30 January 2019

Hooptedoodle #322 - Where Are Heroes When You Need Them?

I have lived through the twitterings and the pantomime protocols of our useless, deluded Parliament for too long. A room full of over-inflated, would-be celebrities, who confuse loyalty to their pals and their wretched, outmoded political parties with the job they were elected to do.

They could not run a bath.

I am ashamed - of course I'm angry, but I'm also embarrassed to think how pathetic we must appear to other nations. This, mark you, is the very same Mother of Parliaments we are determined to keep sacrosanct, to protect from the influence of evil foreigners. The bus to Beachy Head is now warmed up, and there are seats for all. We have not yet decided whether the window blinds will be open or closed for the final descent - we'll have a vote on that next Tuesday, after the Bingo.


24 comments:

  1. I commend my right honorable friends "window blinds be closed" idea to the house....(cue chorus of hear hear and waving of order papers). Shame and embarrassment yes, but for those of us living on the wrong side of the channel you can add a bitter sense of betrayal. Its hugely ironic that in trying to get a "hands on" sense of the English Civil War for years through re enactment I'm only now getting to experience the really tragic aspect of it - through the loss of friends and in some cases family over irreconcilable political differences.

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    1. It is very sad - when I hear politicians cheering decisions to do nothing, I wonder what can possibly be wrong with them - which part of them has been removed to make them like this?

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  2. Well said Mr Foy, and nicely neutral, I have made many enemies by nailing my colours to the mast and parking in the middle of the harbour, but really it's a "plague on all their houses"!

    H

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    1. My grandmother would have locked them in the chamber - you don't get out and you don't get fed until you make a decision.

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  3. I was surprised to receive an email on this topic from the US, from a gentleman who would remain nameless if I didn't tell you his name is Galvano. His point was that, to keep me right, my reference to "twitterings" should have said "tweets". Naturally I'm pleased to be kept right. I sort of assume that he is joking. The alternative would be that he is a prick, and I wouldn't like to think that.

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    1. When I read your first sentence, my interpretation was not so 21st Century. “Twittering” to me meant incessant chirping with no action but then, I am no spring chicken...

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    2. Hi Jonathan - you were right on the money - "twittering" - English word, as intended. For the benefit of Mr Galvano, I am thinking of publishing future posts in txt speak, with emojis for clarity.

      [irony]

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    3. As I constantly remind my kids and wife, I don't speak emoji...

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    4. Bless you Jon - you are indeed my kind of man! There are all kinds of civil war in the offing. When my son despises me because I do not have the latest apps on my iPhone, I take comfort in the fact that I can still look people in the eye and speak to them.

      Speaking of unfathomable governments - did Mr Trump consult anyone before he decided to backtrack on the arms treaty with the Russians? Is there anyone handy with a straitjacket? Is he totally out of control? Are we going to live long enough for Brexit to mean anything?

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  4. Shame on you, of course they could run a bath.
    Of course the house might be split on whether to put the hot water in first or the cold, and there would be sizeable splinter groups advocating a shower. There would have to be a group adamant on our democratic right to stay dirty, of course. But I am sure our elected representatives could sort out such difficulties - perhaps they could have a meaningful vote on it.

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    1. Yes - you're right - I'm sorry. I think you have summed up the situation very concisely, though I'd prefer if you'd started more senstences with "So..." followed by regulation pause. It is very difficult though, isn't it? Maybe we should ask the people what they think - to save all that messing around, they could just like a few options on Facebook.

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    2. So ...we now need a second referendum on whether to fill the bath with hard water or soft and a 568 page withdrawal agreement on how to pull the plug.
      You see, this filling a bath business isn't as easy as you thought. Shame that we have a useless shower in Parliament.

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    3. Excellent - do we have a special shower cabinet, then?

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    4. By Gum - you're good! Love it.

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  5. Please take solace in the realization that the UK has not cornered the market in pathetic government behavior.

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    1. Thanks Jon - I do appreciate that - though sometimes it is a bit like taking comfort in the fact that there are lots of others who didn't get into one of the Titanic's lifeboats. We'll laugh at all this one day, wait and see.

      Don't hold your breath though.

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  6. I'm glad I got out of that fuc**ng country when I did! I'm sorry but this mess just makes me angry. How much are these shenanigans costing? There is a terrible housing crisis in the UK, ex servicemen among others living on the streets, rising demand for food banks, a crisis in the NHS, and watching those MP's with their ridiculous expense accounts, subsidised bars and restaurants makes me sick. I have been following the Brexit debate for weeks now on a daily basis but have decided to stop as it's not doing my mental health any good at all!

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    1. Hi Lee - a good while ago - in another lifetime - I had the opportunity to go and work in either Switzerland or Germany - after a long ponder I decided not to go, mostly because I had young children at the time, and I loved my home in Scotland, but it wasn't such an easy decision. I cannot tell you how often I've wondered about that decision since then - especially of late.

      How are you going to be with medical services and so on in Spain if Brexit all turns to rat-droppings?

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  7. Martin S emailed me to suggest that they all need a good kick in the Rees-Moggs. I'm glad I didn't suggest that - we are being watched, you know.

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  8. I was going to write a long and careful reply explaining clearly my opinion of our current government....
    Once I had taken out all of the swear words,insults and potentially slanderous statements I am left with this.

    ......... bollocks!......... ....... ..... ........ ...... ...... ..... bollocks!..... ..... .. ...... ....... ....
    ....... ............ bollocks..... brexit.... bollocks.... ... .... ... ... parliament.... .... BOLLOCKS! .... .... ... wipe their own backside.... .... .... ..... ....... ......... bollocks.
    We are doomed.


    All the best. Aly

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    1. Excellent - you have a real gift with words, though to be pedantic I think you omitted the word "bollocks" in the 2nd line. Thank you for this.

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  9. I also received a splendid email from Alan W, of Norfolk, who informs me that his dad is one of the soldiers in the scene from "Cromwell". He says he's watched the film many times, but he has no idea which of the soldiers is him. Mr W Senior is, alas, deceased, but I understand that he also makes a brief appearance as a groom earlier in the film, though no-one knows in which scene. I think that's brlliant. Mr W the Elder apparently was never an actual actor, but he regularly got extra and walk-on parts in movies in the 1960s and 70s because he was unusually tall. I hope the Union knew about this.

    That's what went wrong with my own acting career, alas - I always had to lie about my height.

    Anyway, thanks Alan - good to hear from you.

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  10. Certainly we in the US are particularly ill-suited to be critical of governance in the UK at this time. However, it dfoes briong to m,ing one of my favorite quotyes by Sir Winston Churchill:

    "One can always trust the Americans to do the right thing...
    after they have tried everything else!"

    I can imagine that hsi opinion of Parliament,. past, present and future, was not too disimilar. :-)

    Likewise "Democracy is the worst form of Government.... aside from all the alternatives!" (or words to that effect).

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