Hooptedoodle #381 - Granny Farr & the Strangers

 This tale is based upon a single - and unexplained - entry in the Accounts and Proceedings of the Council of the Town and Parish of Lancaster, in the County of Lancashire, dated 17th November 1621. The entry is signed by the Clerk of the Council, one Jeremiah Archibald. 

The Accounts contain no subsequent reference to the matter. Neither the strangers referred to nor Mr Joseph Smallbone were ever found, as far as we know.

 

The room was hot, and very noisy - a fire burned in the hearth, and everyone seemed to be speaking at once. The Clerk of the Council rose to his feet and shouted for order. 

 

"If it please the Council - my Lords, gentlemen, they are bringing in Mistress Farr now..." 

And Jean Farr duly appeared - she was rather frail, and her shoulders trembled slightly as she was led to a chair opposite Sir Thomas. 

"Mistress Farr," said the Clerk, "this is Sir Thomas Fanshawe, who is Member of the Parliament for this town, and who chairs today's Council meeting. Gentlemen, my Lords, Mistress Farr is cook and housekeeper for the Reverend Musgrave." 

Old Jean said something, but it was inaudible in the general din. Sir Thomas, removing his hat, rose to his feet and bowed slightly, and raised his hand for quiet. 

"Granny Farr," he said, "I know you well - you and your late husband worked at the home of my father, and I know you to be of good character. I trust and hope that the Good God has granted you health and strength? I need you to help us resolve this odd business about these strangers - it has certainly become the currency of every market stall and alehouse in the town, and the tale becomes more unholy by the minute. Since you are the only person who seems to have met and spoken to them, I shall be very pleased if you will tell me what happened - we need to know who these people are, how they got here, without any knowledge of the Town Guard, and where they have gone. Firstly, if you will, do you know why they chose the Reverend Musgrave's house to call upon?" 

The noise had now diminished to the point where Jean's voice was audible - it wavered a little, but was quite strong and clear. 

"My Lord, if it please you, they said they knew the Minister's home, being a large building, must be the dwelling of an important person. I told them that Mr Musgrave was gone on business to West Derby, but they gave me a gift for him and made a short address - their accents were strange, but I could understand most of what they said." 

"And what did they say, Granny? - what do you remember about them?" 

"They arrived in some sort of carriage - I did not see them approaching, until they knocked at the kitchen door." 

"Pray tell us of this carriage - how many wheels? - how many horses?" 

"Neither horses nor wheels, My Lord, it was black, and square, and it shone like glass - about the size of a small coach, but without windows or fastenings - I did not see it closely, but I knew it was strange. Unfamiliar." 

"Please go on, Granny - what about the visitors themselves?" 

"They looked very peculiar, My Lord - I told the Constable all this..." 

"Yes, yes, Granny, I have the Constable's account here - I need you to tell me what you saw, so that I may better understand this mystery." 

"There were two of them, My Lord - they were tall, they were men, I believe, though their clothes were peculiar - they had pantaloons which reached to their feet, they wore no coats or cloaks, they were without beards, their heads were bald - shaved, I think - and they had pictures and patterns painted on their skin."

 

"Pictures? Religious images?" 

"Nay, My Lord, they seemed to be some form of decoration - flowers and artistic forms." 

"Hmm - and why did they say they had come?" 

"They seemed to be upset, they were arguing with each other all the time - they asked me twice what was the date, and they said the year was wrong, though I am certain I told them the truth. They said they had come from not far away, but from a long way in a different age - from the future, they said, though I know not what they meant." 

The background chatter sprang up once more, but Sir Thomas silenced it with a glare. 

"Please go on, Granny..." 

"They gave me a box, which they said was a gift from our descendants - it would help us rid ourselves of the plague, they said." 

"The box is before you on the table, My Lord," interjected the Clerk. 

The box was about the size of a man's head - without any markings. Sir Thomas lifted a flap and put his hand inside, and removed a number of shiny, cylindrical beads with rounded ends - all identical, each about the length of his thumbnail, with one end coloured yellow and the other crimson. He looked at a few of them, in the palm of his hand, and rolled them onto the tabletop. 

"There must be many thousands of these in here," he said. "Do we know what they are?" 

The Constable, Simon Chaffell, rose to his feet. 

"If it please your Lordship, as yet we do not know. They do not seem to be any kind of explosive device." 

"Thank you, Master Chaffell," said Sir Thomas, "I shall come to you in a moment, if you will - in the meantime, let me resume my questions of Mistress Farr. Granny, please tell us what happened next?" 

"Well, My Lord, I was going to prepare for them some bread and meat, and a little ale, after their journey, but they began to shout loudly, and they ran out into the kitchen garden, and up the hill towards the Mercat - they were very upset because their coach had gone without them..." 

Sir Thomas gestured towards the Constable. 

"Chaffell, can you tell us what happened?" 

"Well, Sir Thomas, the Widow Lalsworth was watching from her window opposite, and she saw two youths playing around the coach - Young Joseph Smallbone and his friend, the Fool Michael." 

"The Fool Michael?" 

"Yes, Sire, a simpleton who lives down at the Barnlands near the Nether Gate - he spends much of his time with Smallbone, who is a thief and a prankster, who does not work and never attends the church..." 

"I understand - please go on - what did Mistress Lalsworth see?" 

"She said that she saw Smallbone interfering with the coach - he climbed upon it, and went inside it. Then there was a strange sound - like music, the Widow says - and the coach disappeared. Then the strangers came out of Mr Musgrave's garden, shouting, and chased the Fool up the hill towards the Mercat Cross. We have searched for them since two days now, and alerted all the watch, but no sign has been found. We have examined the place where the coach stopped - there are no tracks of wheels or animals - there are only three round depressions in the earth where it rested. Otherwise the ground is undisturbed." 

"Thank you, Chaffell - I am concerned that these strangers, in such an unusual vehicle, could have entered though the gates of the town without being seen - I trust that they will be apprehended if they attempt to leave. I understand that there has been no sign of Smallbone, either? We must keep this "gift" in a secure place, in case they return, and perhaps we might examine some of these beads more closely. I would really like to know what these things are. Do you have any ideas, Constable?" 

"None, My Lord - perhaps they are some kind of religious offering, or gems of some kind? I know that Mistress Farr has some thoughts about this." 

At an enquiring glance from Sir Thomas, Old Jean spoke up. 

"I know this is without sense, My Lord, but I think they may be some kind of money." 

"Money? - they do not look like any kind of money I have seen, Granny." 

"Yes, My Lord, but the strangers told me that these beads are called Penny-Shillings in their country, and are highly prized."  

 

 

 

Creeping Elegance: Everyone Switch Units (Musical Sabots)

Creeping Elegance is a general classification here - any odd sorting-out or reorganising jobs which are not obviously a high priority, but which still irritate me when they don't get done.

It's easier to get on with it when there are several reasons all pushing in the same direction - i.e. the planets align (which doesn't happen very often).

For a while I've had the following in mind:

(A) There are a few units in my French army which acquired a 3rd battalion at some point. My improvised house standard for these French 3rd battalions seems to have stipulated that they have no mounted officer and no eagle - I can't remember why, maybe I was short of command figures at the time. Yes, quite. Subsequently I changed my mind - I decided I already had a real, serious house standard, which is that the infantry of my French army in the Peninsula will consist of divisions, each of which has 2 brigades and a battery; each of these brigades will comprise 2 regiments, plus a converged mini-battalion of voltigeurs from these regiments; each of the regiments will have 2 battalions. Not 3, 2. 

(B) Some of my battalions do not please me, because their appearance does not match up to the rest of the army. A case in point is provided by 2 battalions of old 20mm Garrison fellows, some of them recasts, which I've had since 1971 or so and which I've always thought I should upgrade sometime.

(C) Fairly new idea - I need to raise some more little 12-man battalions for my developing siege games.

So I've decided that I can rationalise much of this in one go - thus:

(i) The 1/50e Ligne (apart from their command figures) are of these old Garrisons - if I combine the Les Higgins rank and file from the unwanted 3/50e with the command from the 1/50e then they can become a new, rather smarter 1/50e, and the Garrison troops thus released can be reallocated (very appropriately, in fact) to siege duties. Good. They'll be happy there. The idea of making the 3rd battalion into the new 1st battalion works for me, but I suspect that the 2nd battalion will be furious when they find out.

(ii) Similarly for the 59e Ligne, except that they previously did not have a 3rd battalion, so the replacement Higgins troops for the 1/59e will come from the (unwanted) 3e/15e. The Garrison boys will go for siege basing, as for the 50e.

(iii) The 3rd battalions of the 6e and 25e Léger can also be released, to be allocated to forthcoming Divisions which are in the Refurb Queue.

This is the revamped 1st battalion for the 59e Ligne - the command figures were previously surrounded by Garrison men for many years, and the replacement Higgins rank and file have arrived from the (now defunct) 3/15e.

Here are the troops released to be rebased for siege games - mostly Garrisons - some old friends here!

So I've done the necessary basing adjustments and unit labelling, I've taken new photos for the Napoleonic Catalogue, and I've adjusted the sabot numbering slightly so that the battalions may still be placed consecutively in The Cupboard. So far, I seem to have done everything correctly, though I am half expecting to find two units with the same catalogue number in The Cupboard.

Time to have a cup of tea and read for a while. Nice sunny day here - freezing cold, mind you. 

***** Late Edit *****

Pensioners: some grenadiers from the old Garrison battalions, now re-based and ready for siege duties.

***************

FoB Giveaway - The Denouement

Since interest in my offer of my copy of Piquet's Field of Battle (2nd Edition) was limited to start with, and has fizzled out a couple of days ago, I've decided to default on the stated Terms & Conditions, and close now.

This was pretty much what I had expected - Piquet devotees will mostly have invested in the 3rd Edition already, so the enquiries I received were from people who were interested to have a look and see what it's all about.

Apart from a couple of comments which come under the general heading of "banter", I received four serious requests. As always, I had asked for some far-fetched or otherwise entertaining reason why each applicant deserved to receive the giveaway, which, as always, no doubt delighted me more than the contributors. I have to say, everyone did themselves proud; specially mentioned is Neil, who eloquently expressed the hopes and trepidations which a possible acquaintance with Piquet generated; however, the winner is the famous Chris Grice, author, celebrity, eco-warrior and all-round good egg, who produced a detailed and impassioned explanation of how he is having his house altered to allow greater scope for domestic wargaming, which would be helped enormously by the arrival of some rules which lend themselves to solo gaming.

A postal package will be arranged forthwith, if not fifthwith - thanks to everyone who took part or thought about doing so.

Featherstonia: Donald Featherstone's "Rules for Wargames in the 1880 Period Including Colonial Warfare"

Once again I must offer my most sincere thanks to the mighty Albannach for supplying another instalment of vintage rules, originally available through Wargamer's Newsletter.

These are quite substantial - Old School but detailed. I was particularly interested in the last section, on "Natives versus Disciplined Troops".

I hope you enjoy these - please bear in mind that they are a product of their time, and should be read as such.

Once again, Iain, many thanks for helping keep the blog afloat!

A Quick Visit to the 21st Century, plus a [Qualified] Give-Away

I try to keep an eye on what the 3D-Printing world is up to. I'm already very interested in the scenery possibilities, but figures, at least in scales which are relevant to me, have tended to be a bit lumpen thus far.

I've actually ordered some Napoleonic sample figures from JJG Print 3D - I understand that they have made my figures already, and have posted them - I even have a tracking number, though I have no idea who is the courier, so tracking is difficult. The figures themselves are not expensive, though for a small order the postage is fairly eye-watering - the manufacturer is based in Walcourt, Belgium - close to Charleroi... ["...that man does war honour..."] - very businesslike and polite thus far.

They produce Napoleonics in 10mm, 15mm, 18mm, 22mm and 28mm. I've ordered some 22mm, since that seems the best guess, and since it might just be that 22mm is what the size of figures I collect is called nowadays . We'll see. The figures come without bases - the plates on the website look like computer renderings rather than photos. I am not building up wild hopes here, but it's sensible to have a look at the market every now and then.

The extent of the range is a bit unclear - they have Spanish and French figures illustrated, but there are painted examples which I couldn't find in the pose listing. The sculpture is a little quirky - the drums are about half-size in scale, and the French light infantry gaiters look a bit weird. Anyway, all very interesting.

Topic 2 - Giveaway

I'm trying to cut down the amount of my various collections - not least to make room for my siege scenery, which is beginning to take on a life of its own. One thing that I would be happy to give away is the Second Edition of Piquet's Field of Battle - I am offering the rule book, which has been read (though played very little) but is in pristine condition, plus two packs of the official custom cards, imported from the US at considerable expense. I am getting rid of this lot because I have now bought the 3rd Edition. The existence of a later edition will probably cut down on demand for the one I'm aiming to pass on, but it may as well go to a good home. The 2nd Edition was largely boosted (by its fans) as the best game of its type, so it can hardly have become crap just because there is now an update. If you are interested, send me a comment (which I shall not publish) explaining why you want it and deserve it - I'm looking for a wholehearted effort here, chaps - I seek entertainment, amusement. I am not interested in the fact that your cat has died etc, or you've finished your join-the-dots puzzle book. Some Terms & Conditions:

* I'll keep this open until the start of Saturday 28th November - I shall judge applications in my usual subjective and totally unreasonable manner

* The successful applicant can have the rules and cards free of charge, of course, but, if you are outside the UK, I will probably require you to pay the postage (at cost).

* I'll only accept entries from people who follow my blog regularly, including those who do so by email.

I really can't be bothered trying to sell this on eBay. If you have never tried FoB, or if you have a fancy for a look at a Piquet game, it's an excellent rule set, and worth a go. It's especially good for solo gaming, in case that is an extra attraction. If you like what you see, and are interested in the upgrade, you can now purchase the 3rd Edition from Lancashire Games in the UK. At the time I bought this 2nd Edition, it came from Piquet in the US, and it was an expensive exercise - the postage was astounding.

Them was the days.

Hooptedoodle #380 - Reasons to Be Cheerful?

Times are difficult, no doubt, but I think we have to hang on to what we can get in the way of better news. This last week or so has seen definite signs of the beginning of the ends of a few pestilences - early days, admittedly, but promising...

 

Hooptedoodle #379a - Landscaping Work Complete - Tweaking Starts Now

 

After a complete washout on Wednesday, Thursday was astonishing - everything happened at once - at one point we had 4 guys on site, and everything was finished by dusk. Wow.

On Wednesday, my 5 tonnes of whin chips arrived. I still don't understand how the lorry driver got from the lane into our driveway. I was scared to watch - I was convinced he was going to convert our gates into a hoop, but he managed very nicely. No damage, no fuss. I guess these guys are good at their jobs, basically.

11am Thursday, Grant the Serious Chainsaw Man arrived from Longformacus. No prisoners were taken, our two tree stumps were quickly converted into manageable blocks of timber, he cut them down to below ground level and the holes were filled with soil. No more trees. What trees?

Once some tidying and graveling had taken place, this is where the trees had been - one on either side of the steps in the centre of the photo. The patches of earth will certainly sink after a bit of rain, so I'll order in a load of composted soil to level things up.

Friday morning. With the site almost completely cleared, this is the new aspect to our driveway - it is now straight, and the overhanging junipers on the right are no more.

We have always been very proud of the splendid blocks of stone, taken from our local beach, which line the drive...

...and we now have some more of these blocks visible; since this section was previously buried underneath the trees, it has not been seen since about 1990 - nice stones - pleased with this.

The whole front garden has changed a lot - big improvements in the drive and the parking areas, but it feels a bit odd at present. Our house is now visible from the lane for the first time in living memory, and the garden seems rather flat and boring. Righto - some plans for planting are required!