Napoleonic & ECW wargaming, with a load of old Hooptedoodle on this & that


Saturday, 5 September 2015

Hooptedoodle #190 - A Grand Day Out

The new trains have pictures of the countryside painted on them - maybe this
is to render pointless the efforts of graffitti artists
This morning my son and I went on something of an adventure – the first day the new Scottish Borders Railway was open to the public.


Well, “open” is not quite accurate. The service will be open for fare-paying passengers as from tomorrow, and the official opening will be on Wednesday, when HM the Queen is to travel on the line. We were lucky enough to be guests on a special “Golden Ticket” day, which was mostly by invitation (for those and such as those), and included a contingent of guests of the local authorities and the people who had been involved in the construction of the new line.

Early start from our local station, to get to Edinburgh

First surprise of the day was that the train, which at certain times of day
goes on to Glasgow Central, now goes to Ayr, on the West Coast. We have no idea
what day it arrives, but it must be a slow run - good though - must go there one day

Chairman of Edinburgh Council performs the unveiling of a plaque bearing his
name in the same sized font as that of the name of the railway - as usual, he
includes his popular "Le Petomane" impression

There may be festive bunting, but this is grubby old rolling stock - not a problem

The Edinburgh Evening News saw fit to complain that the scenery was not up to
the standards of the West Highland Line - erm - that's probably true
- not many Alpine ranges, either


Somewhere near Stow


The northern suburbs of Galashiels - the A7 winding up into the hills
The new railway is 30 miles in length, which sounds laughable in view of the publicity given to the opening, but it is the longest new stretch of domestic railway line built in the UK for over 100 years. Read that last bit again, if you will, for emphasis. The line has seven stations, and runs between Edinburgh and the village of Tweedbank, which is between Galashiels and Melrose in the Scottish Borders, and in part it follows the old Waverley route which was built in the 19th Century, and which was closed around 1969 as a result of the infamous Beeching Cuts.

It is a very pleasant, quick run, and it provides an alternative to a fairly slow, arduous drive up the A7, so it really might get a few more cars off the roads, and the commercial, social and tourist benefits of having better access to the Borders are significant. Beeching gets a bad press these days, it’s hard to tell how botched his programme of cuts was – his main offence, if there was one, was that his assessment of the viability of particular lines was cost based; whether or not the various rural areas would thrive without their local railway was a lesser issue. The remit he was given by the government of the day has a lot to answer for; there are suggestions that the calculations were flawed, or that the answers were already in a separate envelope. Certainly poor old Dr Beeching did not have the correct quality of crystal ball available – subsequent improvements in railway technology, the long term effects of increasing oil prices and environmental damage make the idea of cutting back on public transport rather strange now, but we have to remember that the (nationalised) railways of the 1960s were very inefficient, provided what was regarded as a poor service and were paralysed by restrictive practices by the Trades Unions.

It is apparent now that we could have made excellent use of some of Beeching’s closed lines over the decades, but it would be stupid to believe that this new railway is a direct replacement of what the old Waverley Line would have become. Let us just be pleased that, if this initiative works, it may lead to more of the same.

Let it also be admitted that I am old enough – just – to have travelled on the Waverley Line. When I was a student, Sunday rail travel was a lengthy and sometimes surprising business, as repairs to the line caused some re-routing (in fact, I think Sunday tickets were cheaper as a result). The official run for Liverpool to Edinburgh in those days was, as at present, via Preston, Carlisle, Carstairs, but on a Sunday anything was possible – I remember passing through exotic places like Kirkby Stephen, Blackburn and Galashiels. I also once – with my bicycle – caught a train from Kelso to Edinburgh, which joined the Waverley Line near Galashiels. The Scottish Borders area contains many towns which have a Station Road, but in which there are very few people old enough to remember a station.

Today’s train was not one of the new machines supplied – since the special trip was to carry many more passengers than the normal timetabled run, some rather elderly diesels were called into service for the day. They did the job nicely, of course, though it took a little of the shiny newness off the experience. No complaints at all, though – it’s a nice, useful little railway, and it should prove invaluable to people commuting between Galashiels and Edinburgh. I think it’s a positive move, and hope to see more along the same lines (see what I did there?).


Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Cubes from 'Gladbach


My parcel of 8mm wooden cubes has arrived from www.spielmaterial.de, and they look very good. I'm pleased with the size, the pieces are accurately made and the colours are good. Under artificial light, to be picky about it, the pink and the magenta are a bit close, and two of the finishes are natural wood, glazed or plain, which are hard to tell apart. To maximize the number of useable colours (and 14 is already more than adequate), I'll add a bit of dilute acrylic colour give the pink cubes more of a crimson shade and find something suitable for the raw wooden ones.

These will certainly be more of a success than my previous attempts to colour-code my army structure with miniature beads (disadvantages: kept dropping the things, and they roll forever, and the craft shop people seemed very uneasy about having a male customer) or 16mm tiddlywinks (disadvantages: too big, too clumsy, too ugly and not enough colours) - all I need now is to get one of those nifty little handicraft boxes with compartments for coloured threads or needles, which means I'll have to take my chances in the craft shop again...

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

Hooptedoodle #189a - Well, actually...


Thanks very much for suggestions - I can see it could be any or all of these things. In fact it is an apple-case - yes, that's right - to carry your apple in, so well done Mr Phyllion [I am horrified to hear that you can also get a banana case - surely bananas come ready-wrapped, and what's wrong with old-fashioned sandwich boxes anyway? Oh no - I see it now - big hairy Mike with the tattoos takes his morning break at work, and he's having an apple - he has brought it in his toolbox, along with his hacksaws and so on, but it is completely safe because it is in a lovely pink plastic case - he will be the envy of all his chums].

What it is really, of course, is an opportunity to send us something bearing the logo of Pink Lady apples. For reasons which elude me, discussion of apples always gets into ridiculous patriotic arguments. I have eaten and enjoyed French Golden Delicious apples for years, despite intermittent abuse from friends and acquaintances who insist that the mere existence on our supermarket shelves of the Golden Delicious is another dreadful attack from the Eurocrats, and that I should be dutifully eating Cox's Orange Pippins like a true Englishman. Pink Lady, I believe, are Australian. I have tried them - they were OK. I am unmoved.

The whole subject of promotional tat offered in the pretence that it is in some way useful or desirable also reminds me of the very strange phenomenon of free gifts offered with women's magazines. I regularly see magazines with an exciting "free gift" selotaped to the front cover. Typically, this gift will be a plastic make-up pouch bearing someone's brand name, and the quality and general usefulness of the pouch itself are such that anyone daring to give his wife or girlfriend such an object as a present would be a very foolish man indeed. And yet someone's marketing department has accurately identified that these items will be stored away somewhere, complete with advertising message, and maybe even treasured.

My view is that these free gifts are usually of less than no value - the quality is crap, and the implication is that they are giving it to you because they know you are a moron.

Anyway - I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, but it is an apple case. There you are - our collective education progresses.


******


Late Edit: here are some Redlove Era apples (as mentioned in the comments) we prepared earlier - all stewed and ready to go in a crumble (oatmeal in the crumble topping) - that's the natural colour of the flesh:



Monday, 31 August 2015

Hooptedoodle #189 - Mystery Object


The Contesse has received this item through the mail - we think it may have been a runner-up prize in a competition of some sort. I was interested that such a thing existed - a knick-knack - yet another solution for a problem the world never knew it had.

It may well be screamingly obvious, but would anyone like to guess what it is? It is hollow, made of plastic, the top pops off, the bottom is perforated (for ventilation), you can hang it up by the string if you wish (no idea why anyone would wish). It is not a decoration, and has nothing to do with wasps. I included a ruler to give the size. The white bits in the picture are simply the reflected flash. There may well be a factory somewhere churning these things out by the million.

No prizes, not even runner-up prizes, but I thought I'd run this photo here to see if anyone thinks it is more useful than I do.

Thursday, 27 August 2015

New Toy Shop

Well, hardly new, I think - but new to me. In addition to my terrible addiction to exotic dice, I also love good quality games equipment - counters, markers, all that.

Wooden counters and playing pieces, all shapes, sizes & colours
For the last few weeks I've been trawling around eBay looking for some suitable identifying markers - to denote brigade allocations and for various other purposes for my wargames. Nothing looked quite the right size, and the cheap tiddlywinks and stuff just looked shoddy - and there are never enough colours.

Today I think I hit the right spot - if you don't know them, this is www.spielmaterial.de - Harald Mücke, of Mönchengladbach. They have counters, playing pieces, terrain tiles for popular games, expansion bits for Carcassonne, traditional kids' toys... - recommend you have a look around the site, using this link, if you're interested in bits and pieces of this type.

Tonight I've ordered a stack of 8mm wooden cubes, just to stick a toe in the water - 10 each of 16 colours. 8mm cubes are small enough to be neat and tidy, but big enough to stay put and capable of being picked up by my elephant's-feet fingers.

The website is crisp and bright and logical and friendly, and they take PayPal. Oh - and their prices are good too.

Hooptedoodle #188 - The Psychopath Test


This note follows from a conversation I had with my wife, and an email I sent to Rod, so I must start by apologising to those individuals for recycling the same material into a blog post. Waste not, want not, my grandmother used to say.

I have recently read Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test – a friend recommended it, and I found it a worthwhile, absorbing read. It is, admittedly, written rather in the style of Bill Bryson (Notes from the World of Psychiatry?), but it is entertaining, informative and thought provoking all at the same time. The big messages for me were the surprising numbers of scary people who make it into positions of power and influence, and the extent to which the psychiatry and pharmaceutical industries have exploited public fear of mental illness, and have (apparently) even invented disorders – especially in childhood – whose very existence is debated, but which produce a very considerable revenue.

I am not going to trot out a full review – my mind doesn’t seem to work like that. I will mention, however, some small disquiet I felt as I was working my way through Bob Hare’s psychopathy checklist, which is an established diagnostic tool, especially in criminal psychiatry – it struck me that it seems remarkably crude, for a resource which is so highly valued and which actually results in people being placed in institutions – but then, what do I know? I also found, as I was going through the checklist, that a fair number of the characteristics described might apply to me. Good heavens, that one sounds like me as well.

No, no - that's a cycle path
Of course, I played it down to myself, but I was really quite relieved when I came to a section which stated that, if the reader was growing concerned that they might themselves have psychopathic tendencies, then they almost certainly did not, since a true psychopath would not have been concerned.

So that’s all right then – now I wasn’t worried at all. Then I started to consider, how would a psychopath have reacted to the news that anyone who was worried was probably not a psychopath? Would they then have become worried, since they had not been concerned about the checklist questions, or are psychopaths unlikely to be worried about something as cerebral as a book anyway? Should I be worried about the exact point at which I ceased being worried? Hmmm.

That's more like it - there's a man who had an accident with the ketchup bottle
By this stage I had finished reading anyway, so I have stopped worrying now. I’ll go back to worrying about my book about quantum mechanics, which was the worry I interrupted with this most recent book, though I am faintly puzzled to learn that The Psychopath Test is to be a film, starring Scarlett Johansson. I shall leave out the obligatory picture of Ms Johansson, since no-one else will.

I drafted this post yesterday, and this morning I find that my timing was inopportune. I am sickened, like everyone else, by the news coverage of the live execution of a TV news team in Virginia – having heard the BBC talking, once again, about “media coverage”, I am keeping the TV switched firmly off until things quieten down. I am upset by the event, the coverage, the reaction and the implications.

Apparently, this is what a TV looks like when it's switched off
Of course, this is a tragedy involving people in the news industry, so the TV people are very focused on that; they happen to have been rather attractive, young people, which makes the story even more interesting – complete with statements from fiancés, tributes from neighbours and former schoolfriends, etc; most obvious of all, the availability of a clip showing someone being killed on live TV is too much to resist – the media will get as close to the boundaries of the law and public decency as they can to outdo each other. I am not going to invite death threats again by lamenting the gun situation in the USA, but I observe that the perpetrator was a black guy, which will have been duly noted by those who keep score and those who support the present gun laws.

I wonder – to give us a context, how many unpublicised fatal shootings take place each day in the US? I also wonder – since I am now a bit of an expert – are the psychopaths the people who:

(1) Kill people on live TV?
(2) Televise the shooting in as explicit a manner as possible, to score viewing figures?
(3) Watch it again and again, to catch new details?
(4) Think about doing something similar?
(5) Keep the TV switched off, to avoid being confronted by it?

The questions are, of course, rhetorical – I do not expect anyone to provide answers. Thanks, anyway – if you are upset by this post, please purchase a bunch of flowers from your local filling station, and place them in front of your TV.

Just out of interest, I thought I’d have a look this morning to see if there are any prominent black members of the NRA. I got depressed before I’d formed a clear opinion, so I’ve done with the subject. Back to quantum mechanics.

Sunday, 23 August 2015

Hooptedoodle #187 – But Clouds Got in My Way

The Technology Illusion


When I first started driving, I owned a series of fairly dodgy pre-owned cars, and – though I sometimes look back on this period with some affection – the reality is that a journey was far more of an act of faith than I would be prepared to put up with now.

A number of things have moved on, of course: the technology has improved, the reliability of robot-built, computerised vehicles is unrecognisably better, the roads are better, the annual “MoT” tests have put most unserviceable vehicles off the road in the UK, and the whole approach to motoring has changed. When I consider the risks I put my young family through back in the 1970s I cannot help but shudder - driving in the Scottish Highlands in a Renault 12 which only worked some of the time, or travelling to France in an ancient 1300cc Cortina (yes, 1300cc - that’s about 1.5 horsepower with a tailwind, in a 2 ton vehicle consisting mostly of angle-iron girders, packed to the gunnels with kiddies’ high-chairs, camping equipment, and actual people).


It was not possible to go motoring in those days unless you had a working knowledge of distributors, carburettor jets, hydraulic bleed nipples and a whole catalogue of suspect bits. Far too often a long journey would require an early stop in a layby somewhere, with the bonnet up, trying to find where the power had gone, or what the strange noise was – or had we imagined it? The AA patrols were like guardian saints in the wilderness – if you got to your destination without some kind of mechanical catastrophe then you felt you ought to go to evening mass to give thanks. Those cars I had were really not fit for purpose – I used to lie awake, in my tent on my holiday campsite, wondering where in the Jura mountains I could get hold of an alternator for an obsolete British Ford, whether the brakes would make it all the way to Lausanne, whether the water-pump leak was serious, whether the exhaust pipe repair would last. If you listened really hard, you could hear these jalopies rusting. The only bits of the bodywork which were not rusting were the bits that had already rusted away and been replaced with fibreglass and porridge.


Nowadays, a car consists of a number of sealed boxes. Nobody really knows what they do – they are made by robots in a factory far away. If your car causes problems, which is very much less likely now, it is no use hoping to have a techie discussion with a proper mechanic about the distributor rotor – the mechanics are just fitters these days, and no-one remembers what a distributor was – diagnostics are carried out by plugging in a laptop computer, which will tell the man which box he needs to replace; if he has one in the store-room then you might get your car back today, otherwise he will email the supplier for one and you’ll get it back tomorrow.


It’s a different thing altogether, and I cannot pretend that it is not better. It seems to me that in the 1970s the reality of owning a car was that you had to understand, more or less, how it worked, or else you had to have a friend who could understand on your behalf. You were the direct successor to a whole line of men wearing their caps back to front, who knew that being a proper motorist required that you were also some kind of engineer. Now we are completely at the mercy of the repair-shop’s laptop, and everything is expensive, but at least we are excused the need to know how a car works, and – most importantly – we can now almost afford to take for granted that when we set out on a journey we are going to arrive at the far end.


The man with his cap back to front is a useful icon for my view of technology. When my father moved up to Scotland, in 2001, I took my laptop around to his new house to sort out a few issues with utility suppliers and so forth, and he was very interested in it. My dad was a very smart man – he was an electronics engineer who worked latterly for the UK Atomic Energy people, and he had lived through the development of computers. He had been involved with some of the earlier commercial applications of computers, performing forecast estimates of electrical supply requirements for power stations, doing mathematical modelling of reactor performance and so on. The computers he had worked with were the size of a room, with cabinets full of tape drives and deafening air-conditioning, and you communicated with them via punched paper tape or punched cards, but he knew all about computers.


My laptop intrigued him. “So what is it?” he asked, “Is it a word-processor, or a calculator, or an information storage device? – what is it?”

I said it was all these things, and could do a whole pile more – all we needed to do was provide a suitable application program, and the scope was almost limitless. I tried to explain conceptually what the functional bits of the machine were, and how an operating system glued everything together as “services” for the end-user. I also emphasised that I was not any kind of engineer, though I used computers a lot, and in fact earned my living with them. My dad was disturbed by the fact that he really couldn’t grasp this at all. For a start, anyone who was not any kind of engineer was probably beneath contempt, but he found it a surprise – and not a very comfortable surprise – that he was in a room with a small device costing a few hundred pounds, the nature of which he couldn’t get a feel for at all.

So he fell back on the engineering bit – “How does it work?” – and when my dad said how does it work, he meant semiconductors, bits of wire, transistors and logic gates (or their modern equivalent), diodes. When I admitted that I really didn’t know, had never built one and would be terrified to open one up, he snorted and jammed his cap firmly on, back to front, and that was the end of his interest in computers. 


One alarming aspect of the passage of time is that we catch ourselves turning into our fathers. We use the Internet a lot here – well, as much as our rural broadband allows – and the other night the Contesse was doing some digging into her family history, and found that she had a great-uncle who served in France in WW1. She found him on a Roll of Honour listing the WW1 service of people who were natives of Morayshire (North East Scotland), though he was a sapper in the Canadian Army. She had no record of this great-uncle previously – he does not appear on any family trees which have been produced to date – so this was all interesting and new.

Good. Very good – but it occurred to me that we would have been unable to explain to my dad, for example, what we had just done. Not least, this is because I for one simply don’t really know. Where did the information come from? – where has it been stored? – how does the search engine work? how does the information get organised and returned? – and how does it happen so fast? Don’t know. I have a vague, doodly idea of how all this works, but I don’t wish to understand it in detail – I am an end-user; I only need to know how to make use of it. My dad would certainly have regarded the term end-user as derogatory. He would have realised that the information had not somehow been stored in some dark place within the Contesse’s laptop, but his attention would have been focused on how the Internet worked rather than how to make use of it. His cap was worn the wrong way round for an end-user. He would have found the Internet wonderful, and intriguing, but would have been distracted by the nuts and bolts. Well, clouds.

Today my son comes to tell me that he has some good news in connection with his computer. Normally the words “good news” and “computer” do not sit together well in this context, but on this occasion I am well impressed. He lost his mobile phone a few months ago – a severe upset which, of course, we all got to experience to the full. A big theme of last week was trying to get Windows 10 to work on his laptop – we succeeded after a lot of research and some in-fighting. As a consequence, he now finds that his Microsoft account includes access to a cloud-type facility (is that the word?) called OneDrive which was available to users of Windows 8 (which was used by his lost phone) but not Windows 7, as his laptop was previously. Now, to his delight, he finds that he has access to all the photos and documents he lost with his phone, since they had all been faithfully hoovered up into OneDrive, without his knowledge or intervention, and are sitting there waiting – like Greyfriars Bobby – for what? Again, I would have had dreadful trouble explaining to my dad where they have been, or how we came to get them back. It doesn’t matter, but I can feel my cap starting to turn a bit…

It would now be possible to go on at great length about the illusory tech-savvy to which a complete generation now appears to attach great prestige, and about how these people are the endest of end-users – my dad would have worried about them – he would even have worried on their behalf, since they do not appear to know quite what it is they are doing. Maybe it doesn’t matter, after all – maybe we don’t need real technicians – maybe we just keep throwing the stuff away and getting our credit card to buy a new one, and trust in the Cloud.

I won’t do that. I’d like to end with an affectionate story about the first time my mother met my SatNav unit. This was about 8 years ago, back in the days when my mum still went out. She was introduced to Martina, the very polite, calm, English voice which my Garmin uses to give instructions. Mum was very impressed, listening to the Voice of Martina as we drove along.


“She’s very good, isn’t she? – she seems very calm, and she must have an awful lot of people to deal with at the same time. Where is she?”

No, no, I said – she wasn’t anywhere; the voice was a computerised thing that lived in the little black box in my car. The only thing that was outside the car was a satellite – or maybe two satellites – I couldn’t remember.

“Good heavens,” said my mum, “you mean the woman is in a satellite?”

No, no – there is no-one in the satellite - the only thing the satellite does is send a signal which says “here I am”, and probably sends an accurate time signal – everything else is done inside the car. I was very much aware that my father would have been very unconvinced by my description, but I stuck with it.

“So there is no woman, then?” said Mum.

No – it is a series of digital recordings of a real woman’s voice, but it is a little computer making the noises. The system is just (just!) a satellite system and a little box on my windscreen.

My mother thought about this for a while, and then said, “No – I can’t see how that would work at all – there must be a woman somewhere who knows where your car is.”

So that was that. Nothing further to discuss about SatNavs.