Hooptedoodle #45 - Pragmatism, and the Marino Festival

This has the makings of one of my more pointless posts, so please move on if you're not in the mood. Recently I was involved in the pub in a good-going discussion about Europe, and we touched on reasons why Britain was never going to be a comfortable inner member of the EU (or whatever set of letters is now correct). For a start, Europe is just stuffed with foreigners, which is always going to be a problem. For another thing, the British instinct to obey regulations and then whinge about them makes us bad material for such a role. And then there's our attitude. Given that our preferred stance is to stand on the fringes and sneer, it would hardly be surprising if eventually someone were to ask us to go away.

Some years ago, the makers of a world-famous blue cheese in Yorkshire were obliged to clean up their act in accordance with EU regulations, and they did so, and whatever microbes were responsible for their famous blue cheese just curled up and died. The cheese is no more. Oh my God - another terrible affront from the faceless bureaucrats in Brussels. Harrumph etc.

Round about the same time, a friend of mine who manufactures Camembert cheese in Normandy was given the same set of regulations. He is still in business. His cheese is, literally, alive and well. How can this be?

Well. to be frank about it, he did exactly what the bureaucrats expected him to do. Nothing. He ignored the regs. He said "Yes, sir, three bags full, sir." but realised that his livelihood depended on the bugs in his factory, so he did - well, sort of nothing. That's how proper Europe works. The regulators would have expected nothing else.

Also some years ago, I had a very lazy, overfed holiday in a rarified part of Tuscany, and got friendly with the Maitre D in the local restaurant (as one does). One day my wife-of-the-day and I ordered a Florentine steak, and I was astonished. The flavour was unmistakeable. I have eaten steak in the USA - I understand about maturing prime beef. I grabbed the Maitre D - "That is a wonderful steak," I said, "but I know perfectly well that it has been matured for far longer than is legal in Europe - can you talk me through this?" He laughed. "We are practical people in Italy - if we need to hang a steak for 36 or 40 days we'll do it. If we need to say something different on the certificate to keep the regulators happy, we'll do that too - why make them miserable?"

I love that. Someone might suggest that it is dishonest, but excellent steaks and excellent compliance can both exist in the same world if you work at it.

The Italians are wonderfully pragmatic people. I love Italy, and I greatly admire the Italians' ability to focus most of their attention on things that really matter - food, wine, music, sex, happiness. I'll end this post with a story which has no merit at all except that I like it as an example of exactly this sort of pragmatism. My friend Tom is half Italian - his mother was Italian, though he grew up in Scotland. When he finished his university degree, he went to live in Italy for a while, and worked as a teacher, teaching English as a foreign language in Rome. While he was there, he married a local girl, and brought her back to Scotland. So Tom has many relatives in Italy. On one of his first visits to meet his new extended family, he found that he was required to help at the wine festival in Marino, Lazio. A feature of this festival is that, every year on 1st October, there is a miracle - the fountains in the centre of the town suddenly stop producing water and start to produce the local white wine. Now I think you may admit that this is a very useful kind of miracle indeed. Tom realised very quickly that this supernatural event coincided with a tanker-lorry full of wine being connected to the fountain with plastic hoses, but the festival is still played out each year, with priests and townspeople openly celebrating the miracle, in full knowledge that it is, in fact, a sham. Tom spoke to the local priest - "How is this a miracle?". "But of course it's a miracle," came the answer, "the very fact that we are able to make wonderful wine here is a miracle - what more do you want?". Tom couldn't think of anything else, in fact.

Tom's recollection of his first Marino festival is hazy. At one point, since he was related to some local worthy, he was put in charge of the fountain for a few hours. He was armed with a large carton of paper cups, and was required to make sure that anyone who wanted a drink from the fountain could have one. For some reason he cannot recall, Tom became very tired after a while, and had to be relieved. He still hopes that the townspeople and the priests were not too disappointed in his lack of stamina.

What if.....?

Sir David Baird? - nah...

My previous post gives the details on a fairly substantial defeat for the Allied army in the Peninsula in my solo campaign, and Ross's appended comment to that post raises the question of comeback - poor old Arthur Wellesley, for all his changing titles and honours, lived constantly under the threat of being replaced if things went against him, or even if Parliament took a dislike to the manner in which they went in his favour.

I reproduce here a couple of relevant pages of the British Army List for January 1812. In all innocence, I ask the question - because I really have no idea - if Wellington had been pulled from the Peninsular in 1812 (or any time, really), who would have replaced him?

Most of his peers in the Army were geriatric and/or useless, his subordinates in Spain were maybe not the required material, either by talent or by seniority or by influence. Any suggestions? If Wellesley had been removed, who, of the available people, would have been

(1) a likely replacement, or

(2) a good replacement?

Just a bit of fun. I can't get past the David Bairds and the Dalrymples and the other aged good chaps, but there must have been someone. Graham was a good subordinate, but I'm not sure he could have handled the top job, and in any case his health was uncertain. Hill was healthier, but maybe typecast in the same way. Beresford was hated by most of the British General Staff (for whatever reason), and was basically an administrator. Cotton was strictly Wellington's second in command around this time, but he would have made an awkward supremo...

Any ideas? I was going to run a poll, but I thought that listing candidates would distort the results, and anyway I don't know how to do it! Here's the pages from the Army List for top guys in Jan 1812...

Solo Campaign - Battle of Benavente – 28th February 1812

It took a few days to get round to fighting this battle, so I've fallen behind the real-time calendar, not that it matters, and in any case I should be able to make up time during non-fighting weeks.

[Preamble – rules and suchlike. Even with detached forces, for this action the French army would require over 40 leaders and units in a conventional CCN game, and the Allies not much less. It is clear (to me, anyway) that such a game would be unplayable, so I used my own Grand Tactical tweaked version of CCN – first time in anger. It worked well enough, though initially it feels conceptually strange, and there are still points to be cleared up concerning the use of artillery batteries attached to infantry or cavalry brigades. Nothing arose which could not be decided as I went along, though I took a couple of notes for possible future changes – again, details only. In this amended form, the big differences in the game are that the “units” in the game become brigades, and there is no musketry fire – the game scale is reduced (increased?) to the point where musketry becomes part of melee combat. The only “ranged combat” is thus artillery fire, and the effect is greatly reduced, with batteries smaller and ranges reduced to fit the ground scale.

5 Command Cards each side, French move first throughout, 8 Victory Banners for the win.]

Narrative: Wellington, having left the Sixth Divn and much of his cavalry to cover the crossings on the Duero, marched the remainder of his army into the Leon area, to threaten Marmont’s flank and his communications through Burgos. Marmont, still with his hand forced by orders from Paris to take an aggressive stance rather than leave Castile, moved to intercept the Anglo-Portuguese army. He also left behind part of his force, under Clauzel, to cover the Duero. The pickets of the two armies made contact on the road from Salamanca to Leon, some miles north of Benavente, during the night of 27th February.

In the early morning of the 28th, Marmont found that the Allies had a fairly strong defensive position near the village of Villa Quejida, with their left flank in woods, on the bank of the (unfordable) River Esla.

Marmont had Foy’s Division from the Armee de Portugal, part of D’Armagnac’s Division from the Armee du Centre (comprising Chasse’s German brigade and St Paul’s Italians) and Guye’s Division, also from the Armee du Centre (comprising Merlin’s brigade of King Joseph’s Guard and Casapalacios’ brigade of King Joseph’s Spanish line troops). His cavalry was organised into 4 strong brigades under Montbrun, the heavy cavalry brigades commended by Pierre Boyer and Treillard, and the light by Maupoint and Curto.

Wellington, inferior in both cavalry and artillery, took a reverse slope position on the hill which dominated the area, with the Foot Guards brigade placed on an outlying hill on the right, with the artillery of the First Division. The centre was held by the brigades of Blantyre and Low from First Division, and by Halkett’s and Bernewitz’ brigades from Seventh Divn, these last two brigades being his only available designated light infantry. The lower ground near the river was held by Picton’s Third Division. The two small cavalry brigades were placed in the rear of the right flank (Anson’s light dragoons) and the centre (Bock’s KGL dragoons).

The fighting was hectic and possession of the ridge swung back and forth a few times, but the story of the battle is simply told; Marmont made early use of a Bayonet Charge Command card, and made a massive attack in the centre. The Italian brigade suffered severe losses and broke fairly quickly, but Foy’s two brigades forced their way onto the higher ground. General Picton himself brought Palmeirim’s Portuguese brigade up, after they had been delayed by Command card difficulties, and succeeded in pushing Foy’s troops back. At this point Foy received a bayonet wound in his thigh while leading the 6eme Leger, of Chemineau’s brigade, and was taken to the rear.

By this stage, the Allied infantry on the ridge were exhausted, and Foy’s men took a measure of revenge for the loss of their leader, rallying and regaining the ridge. A critical moment came when the valiant Portuguese finally gave way, Picton being seriously wounded as he attempted to rally them. On the Allied right, things were also going badly, as the Foot Guards, though in square, were broken by Treillard’s heavy cavalry, led with great courage and extraordinarily lucky dice rolls by Montbrun (in his new “Lasalle” guise). Treillard’s men, encouraged (not to say surprised) by this success, rushed on to press home a Bonus Combat (as defined in CCN), swept away Anson’s light dragoons and overran Gardiner’s foot battery. With the loss of Picton, the French now had a margin in Victory Banners of 9-4, and the day was won, the margin being officially Decisive.

OOBs

French Army – Marshal Auguste Marmont, Duc de Raguse

Gen de Divn MS Foy (w)
Brigade Chemineau – 6e leger & 69e ligne (5 bns in total)
Brigade Desgraviers – 39e & 76e Ligne (4 bns)
1 horse battery
1 foot battery

Gen de Divn D’Armagnac
Brigade Chasse – Regt de Prusse, 3e Berg, 4e Hesse-Darmstadt (4 bns)
Brigade St Paul (Italians) – 2e leger, 3e & 5e ligne (5 bns)
1 Italian foot battery

Gen de Divn N Guye
Brigade Merlin (King’s Guard) – Grenadiers, Fusiliers & Voltigeurs (5 bns)
Brigade Casapacios (Spanish) – Castilla, Toledo, Royal Etranger (4 bns)
1 horse battery (King’s Guard)

Gen de Divn Montbrun
Brigade Boyer – 15e & 25 Dragons
Brigade Curto – 3e Hussards, 13e, 22e & 26e Chasseurs a Cheval
Brigade Treillard – 13e Cuirassiers, 4e Dgns, Dragoni Napoleone, Vistula Lancers
Brigade Maupoint – 1st & 2nd Pommerian ChevauxLegers, 5e Chev-Lanciers
1 horse battery

Total 28240 men with 34 guns – loss approx 6040 men and 2 guns

Allied Army – Earl of Wellington

First Divn (Sir Thomas Graham)
Henry Campbell’s brigade – Coldstream & 3rd Foot Guards
Blantyre’s brigade – 2/24th, 1/42nd, 2/58th & 1/79th Foot
Von Low’s brigade – 1st, 2nd & 5th Bns KGL
1 foot battery

Third Divn (Sir Thomas Picton (w))
Wallace’s brigade – 1/45th, 74th & 88th Foot
John Campbell’s brigade – 2/5th, 2/83rd & 94th Foot
Palmeirim’s (Portuguese) bde – 9th & 21st Regts (2 bns each) & 11th Cacadores
1 foot battery

Seventh Divn (part) (Sir John Hope)
Halkett’s brigade – 1st & 2nd Light bns, KGL & Brunswick-Oels jaegers
Bernewitz’s brigade – 51st & 68th Foot & Chasseurs Britanniques
1 horse battery

Cavalry (George Anson)
Anson’s brigade – 11th, 14th & 16th Light Dgns
Von Bock’s brigade – 1st & 2nd dragoons, KGL

Total 23300 men with 18 guns – loss approx 7490 men and 4 guns

Both armies heavily disorganised by the action – Allies retreated towards Lugo (which is a rough road) – French remained on the field to look after their wounded and reorganise. The Allied retreat may give rise to Demoralisation, since the roads are bad, weather is still wintery, and the army is defeated and tired to start with. Will assess this in next week’s returns.

Allied position at the start, seen from their right

...and the French, from their left

Nicolas Guye, with King Joseph's Guard - the small brigades took a bit of getting used to 

Foy leads the main attack in the centre

The French attack, seen from behind the Allied position

The French move quickly to seize the initiative, thanks to favourable Command cards

Montbrun sets about the British Foot Guards on the hillock

The Allies' last hope - Picton brings in the Portuguese brigade (right side of picture)

Ouch! - MS Foy is wounded - still brings tears to my eyes thinking of it

New Celebrity Look-alike at Chateau Foy

Surely it can't be.... Lasalle?

Correct, it isn't. Since it is forever 1812 here, Lasalle has been dead for 3 years or so. Nice find on eBay - one of Jorg Schmaeling's little masterpieces for Art Miniaturen. In an ideal world, this would, in fact, be Lasalle, but I have tweaked him a bit, retouched the paint job to help disguise the handiwork of a pro painter and rebased to the house standard - in short, I've sort of coarsened the figure so he will fit in!

This is now an all-purpose flash French cavalry commander - in the current campaign he will be Montbrun, but he would also work as an over-the-top colonel of Chasseurs a Cheval looking after a brigade. Because the figure is to have a multi-purpose role, I've waived the usual coloured border round the base to denote rank.

This is as near as my collection gets to class...    Now - into The Cupboard with him.

FaceBook - Lifestyle Concept

I was amused by this, a portrayal of FaceBook-style behaviour out of context. By the way, I had a cup of coffee an hour ago, and it wasn't great.

Karl, Freiherr von Neuenstein

Thanks for the comments on the hectic little affair at San Rafael - I also got a couple of emails, and as ever Herr Doktor Morgenstern is cross-checking the historical accuracy of my account, looking in particular for traces of anti-German bias - there is much that badly needs checking, I admit it - not to mention a good number of downright fabrications.

On this occasion he backed the wrong horse, however - in a world of lies, he chanced upon one thing which is true.

Who is this Neuenstein, says Morgenstern, is he another of your fake Pommeranians? Well no - as it happens, he is the real deal. He was some fringe member of the royal house of Baden, I think - to be honest I am not certain, and the websites which give the true nitty-gritty on the ruling houses of old Germany are not recommended reading unless you are very seriously interested. He was commander of the Baden forces in Spain, after Col von Porbeck was killed at Talavera. Neuenstein subsequently commanded a German brigade in the Armee du Centre.

Josef Karl Franz Xaver, Freiherr von Neuenstein (1769-1838) was a real fellow, no doubt. You can read of his adventures in various places, most notably in Lt.Col Sauzey's Les Allemands sous les Aigles Francais - Tome II - Le Contingent Badois. Col Sauzey does not mention that Josef Karl was the Hero of San Rafael, as it happens, but one cannot have everything. I'm confident the bold Freiherr would have played down his own part in the business, in any event. I even found a (very small) picture of him - wearing his uniform as a colonel in the Baden infantry, I think. He was definitely wearing his second-best French campaign gear on my tabletop yesterday.

Solo Campaign - Action at San Rafael, 27th Feb 1812

Von Neuenstein's Frankfort and Baden units calmly await the storm

General de Brigade Von Neuenstein was sent to deal with an irregular Spanish force under the command of Don Alfonso Maceta – “El Achaparrado” – which was attacking supply trains and couriers in the mountains to the north of Madrid. Von Neuenstein’s own brigade consisted of 5 battalions of troops from the Confederation of the Rhine – professional, experienced soldiers, but a long way from home and increasingly convinced that this was not their war. They were augmented by a very smart new battery of (French) horse artillery from the Madrid garrison. Von Neuenstein marched his men up into the mountains, somewhat concerned about their lack of spirit, and hoping that the inexperienced artillery would perform well if called upon to fight. The French force numbered about 4300 infantry, with the 6 guns of the horse battery.

Maceta’s men had also been on the road for a while, having marched from the Avila area. They were a mixed force, militia and volunteer units and groups of irregular partisan infantry from Avila. The total was 4700, approximately, and Maceta was not impressed when the artillery support promised by the Junta de Castilla turned out to be a half-battery of extraordinarily old and fragile-looking cannon, apparently borrowed from a museum. Better than no artillery at all, but there was no means of moving them once they had been brought into action.

The forces met in the late morning of Thursday 27th February, in a deep and rugged valley near the monastery and village of San Rafael. The unusual terrain generated some special scenario rules – a number of impassable hills were defined, but also some “severe” hills, denoted by double-height blocks and mostly topped with trees – these hills could be entered only by guerrilla infantry and the voltigeur battalion of the French brigade.

[Spanish move first, normal CCN rules, 5 Command cards in each hand, 4 Victory flags needed for a win.]

Very early, the French played a Grande Manoeuvre card and moved 4 units forward quickly, the intention being to gain a toehold in the hills and woods adjacent to the Spanish position. This did not go particularly well, since the Spanish responded with a Bayonet Charge card, which enabled them also to rush 4 infantry units forward, and also to fight with a bonus dice. Von Neuenstein’s troops on the left were caught in the open and suffered badly – the 1st Bn of the Nassauers and the combined voltigeur unit were both broken and routed, and the 2nd Bn of the Nassau unit only avoided a complete collapse of the left by taking possession of the monastery and its outbuildings.

The Spanish militia units, Maceta at their head, now showed commendable élan in the centre, committing to a bold frontal assault on the French force. This had a measure of success at first, and the Frankfurt regiment suffered considerable casualties and recoiled. Neuenstein brought up the two battalions of the 4th Baden regiment and the horse battery, and the Spanish militia and their supporting irregular bands were pushed back and broken. At the same time, a rather half-hearted attack on the monastery was stopped by the Nassauers’ disciplined fire, and the Spanish force retired, the triple-retreat rule for militia units pushing them back quickly, though their previously unengaged cavalry served to cover the retreat well. The antique guns, sadly, were abandoned.

The melee combat at the end of the action was of a very confused nature, the broken terrain and the many twisting paths appear to have caused many men to be separated from their units. The victory for the French was marginal, there was no pursuit by the victors, and many of the missing and wounded on both sides returned to the ranks during the night. On a Victory Flag count, the French won 4-3, and losses were surprisingly light considering the severity of the fighting and the very aggressive tactics of the Spanish commander. The game took about 50 minutes, representing a little over 3 hours fighting. Von Neuenstein conducted himself with great valour and calmness, fighting in the ranks with the Frankfurt unit, striving heroically to rally them when they finally broke, and then taking command of his own Badeners to win the day.

OOBs

French (from l’Armée du Centre)

Genl de Bde Von Neuenstein with his own brigade of D’Armagnac’s Divn
2nd Nassau (2 Bns), Regt de Francfort (1) & 4th Baden (2)
Masset’s battery of horse artillery (attached)

Total 4300 men with 6 x 6pdr guns

Spanish

Don Alfonso Maceta with a mixed force of militia units, volunteers and irregular partidas, with a half battery of irregular artillery provided by the Junta de Castilla

Total 4700 men, including 350 irregular cavalry, with 3 guns

The French lost 1050 men killed and wounded, from the Nassau and Frankfort units, and from the brigade’s voltigeur battalion, which last was pretty much destroyed.

The Spanish, by the time runaways and detached stragglers had rejoined, were reported to have lost only around 800 men, though Neuenstein claimed that the Spanish losses were at least 2000 men. The Confederation troops took a number of standards – mostly informal flags abandoned by the irregulars, and captured 3 very dilapidated 4pdr guns.

General view at the outset, French on the right hand side

The artillery unit provided by the Junta was not what had been hoped for...

1st Bn of the Nassauers caught in the open by the quick Spanish attack

The 2nd Bn, more sensibly deployed next to the monks' vegetable plot

Capt Masset's horse artillery unit

The Spanish attack runs out of momentum while the Frankfurters run out of men...

General view of the Spanish attack